words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Joey: Yeah-yeah right. Thats okay. Thats fine. Thats uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, its no big deal. All right? I think Im gonna go. (Stands up.)
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
MIKE: Wha . . .?� Go back?� To the "land where time stands still"?
Monica: Do you hear something? (Chandlers stands up and goes to the door to look out from the peephole)
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
(Ross stands up.)
Chandler: (he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
(Cut to Monica holding up her shirt, revealing her bra. An actor stands beside her, holding a pen in his hand.)
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.
(Phoebe nods as he stands up in delight.)
(Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away)
(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandler's table)
(Ross just stands in the doorway, for like a minute Ahh! Whats going to happen next??!!! I cant make it all the way through the Olympics!!!)
Chandler: (coming up under center, just like a real quarterback does, and puts his hands between Rosss legs.) Twenty-three!! Seventy-four!! (Ross stands up and looks at him) You wanna go shotgun?
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
(Joey throws open his door and stands there still in the Superman costume then slowly makes his way to the bathroom while keeping both eyes on the cage.)
Trudie Styler: (stands up) Look, Ive just pressed a button, triggering a silent alarm. Any minute now, the police will be here!
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And Im okay with that.
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
(Ross stands next to him for a second, then goes and watches the movie.)
(Everyone applauds and he stands up slowly.)
Ross: (slowly stands up and says quietly) Excuse me. (Exits.)
Rachel: (stands up as well) What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
Ross: Yes! Yes! Yes!! (Everyone stands and claps.)
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys another sip.)
(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)
[Joey stands up again. Rachel enters the door]
[Outside the window, Monica and Chandler jog up. Monica playfully pushes him. They start puching and slapping harder and harder until Monica pushes him down. Chandler stands up, with a serious expression, and chases her away.]
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
Phoebe: Ohh, Im getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Yknow, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.)
Phoebe: Umm, Im a masseuse by day. (Stands with her hands on her hips like a Supergirl pose.)
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Chandler: Oh! (Stands up.)
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Monica: (stands up angry) Tulsa, Oklahoma!
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
Ross: I know! (he stands)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.� Chandler is seated in the chair and Monica stands behind the sofa.]
(Chandlers opens the door. A beautiful woman stands at the doorway.)
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
Joey: (stands up) I just have one question!
Ross: (stands up) Now umm, remember Im still learning.
Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about?
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Chandler: Awesome, the name really stands out.
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
(Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey)
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
(He stands up.)
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Leader: Whos next? (goes over and stands behind Ross, whos feverishly writing on his form, and clears her throat to get his attention.)
Joey: (stands up, and throws his coat on the floor) Im Joey! Im an actor! I dont know squat about dinosaurs!
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
Chandler: Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good, but uh, yknow what? Why put off something till tomorrow that you can do right now? (Laughs) Eldad come here! (He stands up from the next table.)
(We see the screen where it says: "Mike will you marry me?" and then we see Phoebe and Mike on the screen. Phoebe stands up and kneels in front of Mike.)
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
[Time lapse, after dinner. Ross stands up from his self-made map.]
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
Monica: Were gonna pick up the wedding dress then were gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)
Charlie: Yeah, let's go. (stands up and kisses Joey) (to Ross) Thanks Ross.
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
(The passenger stands up and gets his suitcase from the overhead compartment.)
(Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her.)
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
<Joey's eyes become large and he stands up>
Phoebe: (Mike now enters and stands behind Phoebe) Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave...
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)