words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Joey: Yeah! I'm fine! Thanks! (He starts to leave, but gets an idea and stops.) Hey Rach, how you doin'?
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, whats-whats the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.)
Sarah: They are delicious (takes a few from the plate, puts one in her mouth and places the rest on her plate, then starts to reach over to Joey's platter again)
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Rachel: Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...(Starts flapping her arms)
Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
Joey: Oh ... (Starts to sing) Happy birth ... (sees Molly leaving) oh, see you later (runs after Molly)
Monica: Okay. (Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.)
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey Rachel, funny thing. Actually, the ah, end zone starts at that pole, so youre five feet short, so we win!
Phoebe: You guys, we said we were gonna have fun! Come on, hey, remember the time (She starts laughing hysterically.) You dont remember?
Ross: I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. (starts to drink, but Rachel stops him just before he starts drinking)
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
(Matthew runs in and starts patting the other breast, then walks away. Matt slowly stops patting her breast.)
Joey: (after a long pause he starts miming again) I'm cold!
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Joey: Oh great. (Starts to go in.) (To Chandler) Hey! Go take off those pants, they look ready!
Phoebe: Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?
["Looks Like We Made It" starts playing and we enter a whole sequence of Marcel and Ross having fun in the city.]
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
Sleep Clinic Worker: Um-hmm, and did you stay up all night in preparation for your sleep study. (Joey doesnt answer) Uh, sir? (Joey starts snoring)
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
Chandler: Oh! Oh! That's so hard. (Starts to juggle the ball, but loses control and almost drops it and hands it to Monica.)
Gary: Okay. (He starts to leave.) So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up?
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Okay. (Starts running for the bedroom) Im gonna get the ring! Im gonna get the ring! (Does so) Im gonna go find her and (starts running for the door) Im just going to propose!
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
(He takes a bite out of the sandwich and as he does so, Phoebe attacks the other end and starts devouring the sandwich.)
[Wedding music starts, Phoebe noisily unwraps a piece of candy.]
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
The Director: (entering carrying a newspaper) Here we go people! (starts reading the review) Boxing Day! The Lucille Lortel Theatre, blah-la-la-la Ah-ha! Joey Tribianni, gives an uneven performance, but Mr. Tribianni is not the worst thing in this production.
Joey: Oh, Ive been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
(The movie starts, its a vampires lair and Buffay, The Vampire Layer enters dressed in leather and carrying a wooden stake. Suddenly, the vampire opens his coffin and sits up.
Joey: Man, you are Westminster Crabby. (He starts chasing Chandler towards the Abbey.)
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Phoebe: Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.)
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
(Phoebe starts to make a sound like a car accelerating)
(Chandler seeing that Joey has his eyes closed sneaks over and picks up the chicken. The chicken starts flapping it's wings in protest as Chandler holds the chicken inches from Joey's face. Joey stops yelling and upon opening his eyes sees the chicken, screams, and falls to the ground in horror.)
Ross: Ah Ah Get out of here! (The couple retreats. Ross starts looking through the previously mentioned book as a beautiful woman walks into the section.) Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marions views on evolution?
Chandler: Because weddings are a great place to meet women, and when I dance, I look like this (Starts to dancing really, really, really badly. Ross enters behind him and he stops.)
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
Rachel: Oh, shes so tiny. (Starts crying) Whered she go?
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
Ross: Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds do-able. (starts to get out his wallet) How much are the boxes?
[Scene: A mailbox, Ross is mailing the invitations. He throws a bunch into the mailbox, but pauses with Rachel's. And it starts another round of clips.]
(She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.)
(Chandler jumps into the canoe and sits down. The chick starts chirping and Chandler reaches down to pick him up.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Yasmein Bleeth running on TV, and the duck starts quacking.]
[Joey starts whistling, Chandler finishes the tune. Joey whistles again.]
Phoebe: nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa (starts crying)
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Handyman: You're all set. (picks up his bag and starts to leave)
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and dont come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my (Rachel knocks the plate from his hand and it falls on the floor. That process leaves just the forkful Chandler has, Rachel starts to go after that little bit and Chandler retreats into his apartment.)
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
Chandler: Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!
Phoebe: Im a lady Monica, I dont kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.)
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
(He exits and starts to walk away, passes a window, stops, and says "Rachel?!" again. Joey sighs and turns around to face Gunther.)
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, dont Aww Pheebs, that sucks! me yet. (she starts to leave)
Ross: (Into receiver) Hello? (listens) Oh no! What happened? (listens some more) Ok ok, where are you? (Grabs a pen and starts writing). Ok, I'll be right there. (Puts the phone down)
(The duck starts quacking.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Real fun. (She makes a decision.) Yknow, this bra Really, bothers me. (She starts taking off her bra.) Yknow, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, yknow what theyd say? Wanna hear some memories? (She is now violently pulling on her bra in order to remove it, but it isnt co-operating.)
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
Chandler: Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. (He gets up and starts for the door.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headacheHeadache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I dont recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh Im sorry, extra strength death capsules!
Chandler: Good, God's speed, good people! (he starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy) You're not gonna go?
MONICA: (suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake.� It could happen to anyone.� All right, see ya.
CHAN: No, no, see? See? [the printer starts to run] Hey, it's printing. [to Joey, rattled] Hey, it's printing!
(Emma starts making noises, and Joey walks over to her playpen.)
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.) Ohh man! (Joey busts and loses all the money, but when the dealer starts to collect the cards Joey notices something.) Wait! (He holds his hand next to the dealer's hand.)
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Anchorwoman: (on TV) While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. (Joey is intrigued by the idea) Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys wont live to see the fourth of July. (Joey starts to call a place to buy a little baby chick) Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead.
Phoebe: All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. (She starts massaging them.)
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... (she picks up this bug and it starts to play the theme from Love Story)
Ross: Okay, bye-bye. (starts slamming the receiver down in anger.)
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Joey: (pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin? (Starts digging in.)
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.