words in movies
Steve: Hello, Monica. (to Rachel) Hello, greeter girl.
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Steve: Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. (Walks away.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]
STEVE: Oh, yeah, my firm represents the band.
[Scene: Another restaurant. Rachel is studying the menu together with her date, Steve. Steve is the stoned restaurateur from 115 TOW the Stoned Guy.]
Chandler: Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. (on the phone, getting up from the sofa) Hey, Steve.
Chip: Oh yeah, I still hang with Simmons and Zana, y'know. I see Spindler a lot. Devane, Kelly, and I run into Goldie from time to time. Steve Brown, Zuchoff, McGwire, J.T., Breadsly.
Steve: Go back to 3-B, 3-B!
Steve: Yeah. So, do you want to give a check? Or
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Steve and Rachel are still there.]
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Steve: Howard's the handy man!
Steve: Oh look, you don't have to give it too me right now! You can slip it under my door. (Points to his apartment across the hall.)
(Steve makes a face as if his mouth is too dry.)
Steve: I'm kind of funny looking.
Steve: I do like my hair.
Steve: I lost it. To drugs.
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.
Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Steve: I have such fat hands!
Steve: Eh, it's just as well. Doesn't work anyway.
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
STEVE: Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you?
Steve: I silk-screen t-shirts now.
[Scene: Phoebe's massage parlour, she has Steve on the table, and is giving him an extra-painful massage.]
STEVE: How are you? Look, you guys wanna meet the group? Come on. So, are you one of the ones who fooled around with my dad?
Steve: (looking in cabinets) Hey! Sugar-O's! (grabs the cereal box)
Steve: Yeah, he's the handy man. He's gonna be retiring next week and everyone who lives here is kicking in a 100 bucks as a thank you for all the hard work type of thing.
STEVE: Listen, it was nice to see you. I gotta run backstage.
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
Steve (staring at Rachel): I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful.
Steve: I'm not funny either. So, if you were thinking, "well, he's not that good-looking, but maybe we'll have some laughs"... That ain't gonna happen.
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
(Steve starts crying loudly.)
Steve: I came to talk to you about Howard.
Monica: No. Not after what happened with Steve.
Steve: Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are fantastic!
Steve: Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this!
Steve: Okay, you got your free food! You ruined everyone's fun! Don't you think it's time you went home?!
Steve: Look, I think I know the answer to this question, but... Would you like to make love to me?
Steve: It's a lovely apartment.
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
(He points at Steve who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.)
Monica: (to Steve) This is Rachel.
Monica: Hi Steve!
Steve: It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money. That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment with two other guys, and I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.
Steve: (excited) Hey!
Steve: (childishly) No.
Steve: Oh, OK. (he drops the box on the floor) Oh, sorry. (When she bends down to pick it up he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the cabinet.)
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Steve: (unconcerned) Yeah, OK.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
STEVE: Good, good, I'm a lawyer now.
RACH: Steve... sleeve!
Steve: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of them!
Steve: Alright, we'll share.
Steve: You know, I don't know what I'm looking for.
Rachel: All right, well that's good to know. Good night, Steve.
Steve: (from the living room) Is it dry in here? (licks his lips)
Steve (sobbing): I - I can't believe I�m crying in front of you. You must think I'm so pathetic.
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
STEVE: You used to be my babysitter.
Monica: Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. (Steve sits, Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one, quickly)... with just a touch of mints... and... (he finishes)... ginger.
(Rachel is still at the restaurant, but Steve is gone.)
Steve: I was just being polite, but, alright.
Steve: (walking up) Oh hey, Pheebs!
Steve: Oh hi Phoebe.
Steve: Okay, fine, whatever. Welcome to the building. (Exits.)
Steve: Well, the guy's worked here for 25 years.
Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"
Rachel (awkward chuckle): Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself.
Steve: Yes, that's right. We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job.
Chandler: Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve.
Steve: Tartlets. Tartlets. Tartlets. The word has lost all meaning. (he gets up and goes into the kitchen)
Steve: Oh, okay, I get it. (Starts to leave.)
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
Guy: Welcome to the building. I'm uh, Steve Sarah; I'm president of the tenants committee.
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not!