words in movies
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Susan: Like lovers.
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Carol, not me.
Susan: But were fine.
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
(Forgetting herself, Susan does the "Mommy" action with Ross.)
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Ross: Susan, go deep.
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
Susan: What is, honey?
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Ross: Yknow, the kind of fun, you and Susan had when we were married.
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
SUSAN: Come on. I'll let you lead.
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Susan: That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Susan: Oh, I got that for him.
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Susan: Look at that.
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Susan: She.
Susan: Ross.
Susan: Hi.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Susan: I felt it!
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
(Susan enters.)
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
(Susan enters)
Ross: Susan...
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Susan: What's it look like?
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: You did!
Susan: No, you don't.
Susan: I got it.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: Yes.
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: Thanks.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Susan: What do you see?
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
SUSAN: What?
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]