words in movies
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
Chandler: No Rach, its not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasnt that much fun.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you shouldnt compare yourself to me.
Rachel: Nothing. I dont want to do anything.
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Chandler: Ross, a sports car? Wouldnt it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?
Ross: (giddy) I dont know, but-but look how shiny!
Monica: I cant believe you bought this.
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
Monica: Werent you asked to leave sonny?
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
Tag: It wasnt on your list, but hopefully youll think its really fun.
Joey: Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Phoebe: Like okay I-I-I, I havent met any Portuguese people! I, I havent had the perfect kiss! And I havent been to snipers school!
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Joey: (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachels gonna be here too, cant I just ask her this stuff?
Monica: You slept with her didnt you?
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
Ross: Oh, see I-I dont know if were gonna be hungry at three.
Joey: Yeah, and there wont be a relationship left to rebuild.
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Woman: Dont worry about it.
Chandler: Yes, but havent you wanted a kid like forever?
Chandler: So you didnt mean any of that?!
Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why arent you with Rachel?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Rachel: Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Joey: I still havent gotten a check for your half yet.
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Chandler: Okay and he hasnt proposed yet because she has no ring on her finger.
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Rachel: Oh we-we didnt.
Monica: Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why dont we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed?
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! I havent even thought about what I will say. What should I say?
Dana: Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I dont feel that way about you.
Cliff: I dont think so.
Rachel: Dont say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what?
Rachel: I cant!
Rachel: Im sorry, I cant!
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Ross: Crack isnt even an intravenous drug!
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Frank: Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I dont see how I could all of the sudden be too young, cause Im older than I was when we first got together.
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Monica: I cant believe were here.
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
Drew: I didnt think you were gay. I do now.
Monica: Isnt she beautiful?
Joey: Why isnt that valet back with my Porsche?
Chandler: Well maybe you dont have to tell him anything.
Rachel: I cant say that Im surprised.
Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Ross: Uh actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date. So techincally, technically I didnt break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though.
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey! You cant. Okay? Ever!
Monica: It wasnt fun?!
Monica: I dont feel good right now.
Monica: You cant marry him!
Chandler: You still havent told Rachel you werent really proposing?
Joey: Yeah, lifes pretty great isnt it?
Ross: I dont think you do.
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why dont you put down your copy of The Rules huh mantrap?!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Rachel: Yes, you did! And dont you say, "No, I didnt!"
Ross: No, you didnt!
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
Chandler: Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years.
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Monica: Honey why dont you go lie down.
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant force kids to be friends.
Ross: Ah actually we dont. (Ross walks off)
Ross: No I dont.
Ross: Well we we dont have a garage.
Ross: Why dont we talk about this on the way to the hospital?
Issac: Oh, hey, man I know, doesnt matter how much we love em, monogamy is too cruel a rule.
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, you think I dont know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me! (He opens the door and feels inside.) Well what do you know! Broken! Thatll be $400!
Ross: I dont think that we are.
Joey: All right look, yknow how-yknow how when youre dating someone and you dont want to cheat on them, unless its with someone really hot?
Chandler: Oh so there cant be any yelling.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Joey: Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I dont
Monica: Breaks your heart doesnt it
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Chandler: Dont try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff!
Ross: Well yeah, but she doesnt know that. I mean, the last time she saw you-you wouldve turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Well-well you can give them to me! I havent felt my feet in years!
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Monica: Dont you see? Its the perfect crime!