words in movies
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Ross: After one class? I dont think so.
Rachel: Isnt that a kind of sushi?
Ross: Yknow what? Fine! Get attacked! I dont even care!
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Ross: All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
Joey: Ohh, hey! Why dont you book a date for both of you at one of those romantic spas?
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
Joey: You cant make crotchless panties? You take, you take a pair of scissors and you just cut
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Rachel: All right, so we werent prepared!
Chandler: I cant figure out what to make Monica.
Ross: Oh, why dont you make her one of your little jokes.
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Chandler: Oh, its okay. I dont
Chandler: No you dontget it in black, not brown.
Chandler: Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
Rachel: I dont like sitting up here! Im just gonna over (She starts to get up.)
Rachel: I Well, I dont think they need any help.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You cant offer anything to us!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Rachel: Oh, I can not believe you didnt tell me!
Mac: Well, I couldnt have done it without you buddy. Youre a genius.
Emily: We dont have to.
Ross: I cant ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Joey: Yeah, not it here it isnt.
Joey: No, I dont think so.
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Chandler: I dont know. Should we try it?
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Mrs. Potter: Phoebe, we have rules here, this isnt that kind of place.
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
Ross: What, that wasnt the great news?
Joey: Dont you think I asked him that before he got in?!
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Chandler: I dont want to look.
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Ross: Okay, you dont have to stop, Im invisible, Im not here. (lights a candle)
Ross: (crying) Yeah, but this cant be it, I mean.
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
Ross: Why-why cant you take a couple of days off?
Monica: We havent eaten yet!
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Monica: Oh, I-I dont know.
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and its nothin. You look at me, and nothin. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
Rachel: Cant I just look at the handles on them?
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Chandler: Luckily, the guy she settled for cant hear what youre talking about.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Chandler: No we didnt!
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Phoebe: I havent really had any yet.
Chandler: Is this why they dont like me or why you dont like me?
Ross: Oh, I dont, I dont, I dont know
Rachel: But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesnt see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesnt like me very much.
Rachel: Dont worry, were just gonna search here for an hour, them were gonna go over to Joeys and search, OK?
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
Rachel: Okay, well cant you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me?
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
Joey: (asleep) So why dont you give me your number?
Chandler: Yeah, well, I dont dance at weddings.
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Mrs. Waltham: I know, its horrible isnt it?
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Gym Employee: You do realize that you wont have access to our new full service Swedish spa.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Joey: Why dont you tell me something I dont know! (He storms out, and once Treeger closes the door behind him, Joey makes an Oops! have.)
Mr. Waltham: Dont take that tone with me. (She looks evilly at him.) All-all right you can. (He looks over at Ross and Shrugs.)
Monica: Oh my God, you cant even see where the Titanic hit it.
Tag: No. We had a really good talk. I dont think Im gonna do that bar scene anymore.
Rachel: (yelling from the living room) Oh wait-wait-wait!! No! Dont go in there! Dont go in there! I need another soda!
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Chandler: An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didnt wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!
Monica: I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!
Hillary: Ive probably been talking too much. Why dont we talk about you a little bit?
Chandler: So apparently we just dont pay for food anymore. (Rachel laughs then Chandler notices something.) Do you see what I see?
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesnt wear a cup.
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
Ross: Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can’t sleep without it.
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Joey: Why dont you like PBS, Pheebs?
Kitchen Worker: Well, I dont know what to tell ya!
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Monica: Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You cant eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.
Chandler: Or a job where you dont have to carry a table.
Monica: I cant believe were living here!
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Chandler: Really?! I-I thought you werent looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling.
Monica: (Start annoying hyper-competitive mode now.) (Jumping up) What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why dont you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!!
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
The Salesman: You dont have, anything?
Joey: I dont know, it smells good.
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?