words in movies
Monica: Congratulations! Wow! I cant believe youre nominated for an Emmy!
Rachel: Oh, stop that! Dont kid about that! (Gasps) Will all the stars be there?
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! I cant go! Im gonna be too nervous!
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Joey: Yeah may-maybe you dont tell anyone about this.
Rachel: So youll definitely get onstage, even if you dont win.
Joey: (confused) What you-you dont think Im gonna win?
Phoebe: Oh, great! We couldnt keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while yknow, hed kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.)
Phoebe: Im a lady Monica, I dont kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.)
Monica: Oh, I havent had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, Im never gonna have that feeling again am I?
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Yknow youI couldnt concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember whats its like to be 19 and in love.
Rachel: I didnt. I got under him.
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Rachel: Joey I dont think you know what behalf means.
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Rachel: Do you really want an award you didnt win?
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Joey: (opening his door) If I cant have it you cant have it! (Rachel walks away angrily.)
Lewis: I know I didnt do well on my midterms and stuff but, I was kinda hoping you could change my grade.
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
Monica: Come here! Come here! (They hug.) Sweetie you dont have to worry. No, besides yknow what? Im gonna have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
Phoebe: Please, dont play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!!
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Director: Really, ythink so? I dont..
Paul: Good. Good. Not that we dont want you to stay, obviously youre welcomeHow much more homework do you have?
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont eat that either.
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Chandler: Well thats good. Because you didnt! And Im incredibly happy for ya!!
Jill: Oh no! But I just walked past three sales and I didnt go in. How strong am I?
Rachel: Yknow I cant even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I cant believe how much I love her, I cant get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her.
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Monica: Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Shhh! (Bangs on her class with a spoon to make a toast.) Okay, umm, I just wanna say that I love you guys so-so much and-and thank you for being here on my special night. (Chandler clears his throat.) Our special night. I mean it just wouldnt be myour-our night, if you all werent here to celebrate with meusDamnit!
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
Rachel: Its okay. Sometimes, things dont work out the way youd thought they would.
Chandler: (reading the comics) Eh..., I dont, I dont know.
Chandler: I cant believe she cracked your code!
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
Chandler: Goin out, huh? Wow! Wow! (Does a little celebration dance) So things didnt work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer.
Ross: I uh I dont know. I mean I I honestly didnt watch it.
Phoebe: I know! But if I didnt work there, what else would I do?
Ross: Thanks! (They hug.) Ugh, I cant believe youre not gonna be there!
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Ross: No, no I dont want to do anything to you. All right? I just want to tell you that Im not mad at you and and that I certainly do not hate you. I just, I just came here to say that. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Phoebe: Okay, good. There you go. Doesnt anyone feel better?
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She obviously didnt understand the question.
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
Monica: We didnt get anything for anyone.
Monica: Oh, um, I dont know if thats a good idea.
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?
Monica: Well, yknow its none of my business, but arent you married?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Cailin: I dont know. Could be because I dont feel like standing around all night waiting for some guy who may or may not scream.
Earl: Couldnt it just be a coincidence?
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Chandler: Look, we cant stay in here forever.
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Ross: No, because she hasnt come home yet. And she hasnt been home all night! Shes obviously staying with that other guy, and Im the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment!
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Ross: I couldnt.
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Woman: Sorry. We didnt hear you; were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: (starts crying) I-I cant believe Jills gone. (They all look at him.) I cant help it, I opened a gate.
Chloe: Hey, you dont have to smile. You just have to dance.
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I dont even like!
Frank: Well, you, wait no, my Mother didnt want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Rachel: I dont know, you thought See you Saturday was funny. Look honey, Mark is in fashion okay, I like having a friend that I can share this stuff with. You guys would never want to go to a lecture with me.
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Amy: Oh, sweety, you can’t pull this off.
Phoebe Sr.: Ill go in a second, I-I just wanted to tell you that there hasnt been a day where I didnt regret giving you up.
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Chandler: Look, you cant call somebody after this long just to say, In case you didnt notice, I dont like you!
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
Monica: I cant promise anything. (She starts to dig in.)
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Phoebe: Okay, dont worry. Youre ready.
Rachel: Oh, all right. But yknow I gotta say, I dont, I dont think six years counts as an era.
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, but I dont think that means anything.
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Monica: Really well. Yeah. Surprisingly well. Yeah, she didnt cry. She wasnt angry or sad. (Sits down, slightly disgusted.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! This is crazy! Cant we just flip a coin?!
Phoebe: Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So thats dumb what I said, dont tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. (Mischa does so and Sergei kisses her hand.) Nice, (to Mischa) thank you. This is me. Here.
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Monica: I didnt think you could keep it a secret.
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Rachel: You didnt break up with that fireman?
Joey: Im tellin ya, he hasnt moved since this morning.
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Phoebe: (to Joey) You wouldn’t let her have a grape?
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
Dina: No Joey! I knew you wouldnt be supportive!
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
Joey: No he doesnt!
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
Cecilia: I am. I am, but I dont know you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy.
Ross: Rach, I-I cant tell you how-how much that means to me! Ohh Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You-you hated the name Ruth! Why-why would you change your mind? Unless, you know were never going to have to use it. You did see the folder. You know its a boy!
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?