words in movies
Rachel: Listen yknow what sir? For the last time, I dont care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Chandler: And Im the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on dont be upset. We still have so much to look forward to!
Monica: They wont be ready for weeks.
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Chandler: Yeah but you dont need(Picks up something)What is this?
Ross: No you didnt.
Chandler: So you dont have the cameras?!
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Rachel: Shh-shh-shh! The guys dont know yet do they?
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Rachel: Oh Joey! Joey! No, its not you! You didnt get anybody pregnant!
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: Im telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Arent these the same flowers?
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Monica: You cant marry him!
Joey: Why?! Why cant she marry me?!
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Phoebe: We dont know.
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Woman At The Wedding: It didnt click.
Woman At The Wedding: Why wont you take our picture?
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Monica: (throwing up the last present) I dont know how any of these got opened?!
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Rachel: Oh wow, you didnt even try to unhook my bra!
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Ross: Huh, didnt see that coming.
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, I dont think so!
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
(Upon hearing this, Joey cant turn his chair around fast enough and knocks it over.)
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
Joey: Ohh-oh, wasnt he cheating on you with her?
Monica: (hugging Chandler) I dont think youll ever get my parents that drunk!
Rachel: Oh, but yknow, no, you didnt give me your phone number.
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Paul: Honey, we dont have any bears here.
Phoebe: Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you cant talk to Rachel.
Monica: We didnt give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, "No!")
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Joey: Thats not fair! I cant do that.
Joey: Well, I cant do everything! Look back over your time together.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I dont know about this.
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Ross: Y'know what I didnt wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? Youre not my girlfriend anymore so...
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Chandler: Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning Dont let Phoebe in.
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Chandler: He didnt say anything about that to me.
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
All: I dont have anything. (All of the rest of the women there hide their gifts behind their backs.)
Chandler: I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The waters tepid. The salt didnt dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used dont compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomileOh!
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Ross: Oh, she isnt home.
Rachel: Oh my God! It sure didnt look this way when I lived here.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Monica: Ohh, Im such an idiot. I cant believe I actually thought she could change.
Monica: You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. Thats why I cant take this job.
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
Joanna: (answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, cant you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Monica: (hangs up) I dont think this numbers right!
Rachel: (laughs) Wow! Umm, yknow, I-I would really love to, but I-I shouldnt.
Chandler: Oh, y'know what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.
Joey: Dont worry about that man, that happens.
Monica: I cant walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake!
Monica: Oh I cant. Dr. Roger is coming over again.
Ross: Then dont. Stay here. Just dont go so soon to London, just one more day.
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Ross: Wow! I didnt know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.
Chandler: Oh, and we should warn you, before you watch it: dont watch it.
Tag: Okay I understand. (Sits down.) I wouldnt want to be proved wrong either.
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Ross: Look, I dont know what youre talking about, I am not a crazy, jealous person.
Joey: Oh, you didnt see the Post?
Chandler: (angrily) I dont think thats what they were talking about Joe!!
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Rachel: Honey, honey, Im sorry, I know its our anniversary but I told you on the phone I dont have time to stop.
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
Ross: Here she comes. Dont say a word, okay? Just be cool, dont be y'know you.
Phoebe: Then its really too bad that you cant tell me.
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Rachel: You had to do it, didnt you? You couldnt just leave it alone.
Ross: No, no, no, no! Dont tell me! I dont want to know!
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Joey: (He looks around the room) This isnt the right room, sorry folks. (leaves)
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Rachel: Well no, I dont smell anything.
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
Chandler: Okay. I cant believe tomorrows the big day.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Rachel: Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.
Rachel: Oh nothing I Sorry, I just cant stop crying.
Rachel: Noo! Oh God we didwe didnt, we didnt uhh
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
Cliff: It doesnt happen to me either.
Chandler: (looking at Joeys feet) Those arent eleven and a half.
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.