words in movies
Rachel: (entering) Hey, umm, do you guys have that tape measure?
Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna need to see that tape. (They rest of them agree.)
Joey: All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a american football match, with the referee's whistle blowing, the crowds cheering...)
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Rachel: (on tape) I-I knowI had put them in in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.
(Ross and Rachel trade looks while watching the tape.)
Chandler: (picking up a video from the table) Candy and Cookie. Candy and Cookie? Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! (Chandler runs over to the TV, puts the tape in, and sits down to enjoy some "porn")
Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?
Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
[the tape cuts to Monica's parents under the covers]
Phoebe: All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape!
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, Chandler is listening to the hypnosis tape.]
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Chandler: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Joey: Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?
Chandler: Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.
Chandler: (Hands the tape back to him) I'm sorry man.
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
Joey: Okay, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh? (Walks away)
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Joey: Yeah! You gotta tell a girl before you tape her. Such a rookie mistake.
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
ROSS: Well, I guess we could tape Entertainment Tonight.
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Monica: I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.
Joey: (on the tape) All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it!
Chandler: But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
Joey: (on the tape) I'm comin' out! (He opens the door and hops out pointing the gun in all directions and then runs out of view.)
Hypnosis Tape: Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, hes listening to the hypnosis tape again.]
Monica: Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? Its here.
Hypnosis Tape: You do not need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. (Joey walks out smiling to himself.)
[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Joey: Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots!
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh yeah, sure.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He is sitting on the barcalounger holding a French study book and listening to a French learning tape.]
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
Ross: (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Joey: For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler has the tape measure out and is busy lining up the lamp on the kitchen counter, Ross is supervising the whole operation.]
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] Hey Monica, what's on this video tape?
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Chandler: Oh, the mixed tape.
Ross: Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok!
Joey: (entering) Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show?
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Ross: Ok, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of the tape]
Joey: (confused) Are we watchin the tape or not?!
(Chandler wakes up and stares at the tape.)
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Chandler: There's a tape here with Monica's name on it.
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Joey: Did you take that tape?
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Rachel: (on tape) Oh I wanted to.
Rachel: (on tape) Interesting.
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
Rachel: Clearly you dont want people to see this tape. Now I dont want people to see this tape either, but you so badly dont people to see it makes me want to see it. You see?
Ross: (on tape) So we we both wanted to.
Monica: Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it?
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
Monica: I-It's just so insulting! Big spring for a new blank tape, Doctor!
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Monica: Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why dont we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Monica: Shes right of course not. Honey, get the tape.
Monica: Making her a mixed tape?
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica enters her bedroom with a roll of duct tape. Richard is sitting on the bed.]
Rachel: Okay. (watching the tape) Ooh, my! (Rachel jumps when the woman starts screaming) Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?!
Rachel: Did you watch the tape?
Joey: (sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.