words in movies
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Teacher: Good for you. Alrighty, next?
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.
Teacher: Alright, Mommies, take a nice deep cleansing breath.
Teacher: Good. Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower.
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Teacher: Lights please? And thats having a baby. Next week is our final class.
Eric: I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! Shes not a teacher. Theres not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
The Teacher: If you're talking about feminism, I think you're right.
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Elizabeth: Oh, because I was thinking, the semesters over; youre not my teacher anymore.
Rachel: Yeah, but Mon thats totally different. He was youre health teacher.
Teacher: Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me.
The Cooking Teacher: Well, hats off to the chef.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
(She starts to walk very slowly toward the front of the room. The teacher grabs her hand and pulls her. Suddenly a woman bursts in)
The Acting Teacher: All right, lets start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?
Teacher: You in the back, you're getting it all wrong!
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Teacher: She's your partner.
Teacher: May I help you?
(The teacher comes up to them.)
Frank: Yeah, she was my best teacher.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, everyone has finished baking a batch of cookies and the teacher is going around tasting them.]
Teacher: Alright people, now everyone grab a partner.
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Yknow youI couldnt concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember whats its like to be 19 and in love.
Teacher: You don't observe a dance class. You dance
Teacher: You by the door. In or out?
The Teacher: Well hi, Im Jenny Boone. Im the new teacher here.
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
The Teacher: Well, that's sort of a given, but yes. Anyone else?
The Cooking Teacher: Oh yes! Youre an excellent chef! As a person youre a little
Phoebe: Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
The Teacher: (entering) Sorry I'm late. Let's get started. So, what did everybody think about Jane Eyre?
The Teacher: All right, let's move on.
Chandler: Oh, so youre going with the teacher, huh?
The Teacher: What do you think? You in the blue shirt.
The Cooking Teacher: Welcome to introduction to cooking. Now, before we start, can anyone tell me the difference between a hollandaise sauce and a bearnaise sauce? (No one can.)
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
Teacher: And we're dancing. A-five, six, seven, eight...
The Teacher: Are you one of Bens mothers?
Joey: Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer pinhead!?"
The Teacher: Ive only met your partner Carol.
Monica: Joey, youre this guys teacher. I mean how could you do this?
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
The Teacher: Excuse me. Can, can I help you with something?
The Teacher: Are you with one of the students?
The Cooking Teacher: And the cream?
Ross: Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! Im the teacher!!
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
The Cooking Teacher: Okay, go ahead.
Teacher: Let's get started. Five, six, a-five six seven eight...
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
The Cooking Teacher: Monica, you go to the head of the class.
The Cooking Teacher: The chef!
The Cooking Teacher: Okay. Lets move on.
The Cooking Teacher: Very much.
The Cooking Teacher: Well actually, did either of you pay for this class?
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
The Cooking Teacher: Ah Monica, my star student.
Rachel: Wow, he's cute, Pheebs! But I thought you just started dating that Kindergarten teacher.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Joey: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!
Joey: Howd you get over that teacher?
The Teacher: Oh, their number is on the contact sheet.
The Cooking Teacher: Were all beginners here. Nobody knows what theyre doing.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
Monica: We know how tough those parent/teacher conferences can be.
Teacher: (To the class) People! Last time there were some empty yoghurt containers lying around after class. Let's not have that happen again!
The Teacher: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
The Cooking Teacher: If youre a professional chef, what are you doing taking Introduction to Cooking?
The Teacher: Well, go ahead Rachel.
Ross: Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, Im your teacher. Im sorry, youre-youre a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.
JULIE: And my second grade teacher was Ms. Thomas, and my first grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb.
The Cooking Teacher: Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese?
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
The Cooking Teacher: (tasting the cookie and with her mouthful) Oh, yum-yum-yum. (Hands the star back.)
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, thats the first A Ive gotten since seventh grade, and I didnt have to sleep with the teacher this time.
The Teacher: Would ya care to venture one?
The Teacher: Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here