words in movies
Ross: Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.
Chandler: Thats great!
Joey: And-and-and not only that, Im gettin a new brain!!
Joey: Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.
Phoebe: (Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?
Rachel: Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Phoebe: That wasnt a date! That was, that was just friends getting together (quietly) having sex.
Jessica Lockhart: (gasps) That was an accident! And so were you.
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Joey: That was a great scene! And-and-and that slap looks so real! How do you do that?
Cecilia: Im supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but thats not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!
Cecilia: Oh that was a real person?!
Joey: An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since Im getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me
Cecilia: Who told you that?
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Phoebe: Did I use that already today? Im sorry.
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Monica: What is that?
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Rachel: No? So youre saying that if I called it, it wouldnt ring?
Phoebe: That is a different phone.
Phoebe: That is damning evidence.
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Cecilia: Joey, well thank you. That is so sweet. Oh, excuse me. (She throws her drink on a passing writer.)
Joey: Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-yel-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, Im really nervous about-about being you. Yknow if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Yknow? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?
Joey: Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!
Cecilia: Is that supposed to be me?
Joey: (shocked) I can do an English accent?! That babys going on my resume!
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Ross: How did you know about that?!
Chandler: Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Cecilia: No, he already knows that he owns everything in the room! Hes not finding it out for the first time! So, try it again.
Cecilia: I am. I am, but I dont know you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy.
Joey: Hey thats not true! Look at uh, look at Angela LansbAngelina Jolie!
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that cause shes so passionate?
Cecilia: No! Its because that way the camera only sees her! (She takes her hands off his face.) Do you wanna try it?
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Tom: No thats my assistant.
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Cecilia: Well, you certainly own that room.
Cecilia: Well, its nice to know that you
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Cecilia: Oh that explains all the womens underwear.
Cecilia: Id love to, but my lawyer said I cant do that anymore.
Joey: (notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!
Joey: Well no, Im just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! (Realizes what that means.) Oh
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
The Director: Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you!
Cecilia: (running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that youre a better Jessica than I ever was!
Cecilia: No thats La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.
Joey: Thats a really long time.
Cecilia: Yeah, but you can come and visit me. I bet that you could uh, own a few places down there.
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant againThat isI tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Cecilia: That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. Youve, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Jill: Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug!
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Passenger #1: Okay, that doesn't sound good.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
Joey: I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me.
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
Joey: Won't-won't that take longer?
Joey: Thats great! That would be great! Lets do that!
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
Rachel: Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Ross: That is so made up!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Chandler: Thats what you should say.
CHANDLER: Believe me, sometimes that happens.
Phoebe: That is.
Phoebe: Oh thats not so bad.
Chandler: When youre marrying us; thats what you should say.
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Phoebe: Oh my God, thats so freaky! Turn him off!!
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it.
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
Jen: Sure, I'll just get my coat. (There's a knock on the door.) Could you get that?
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Phoebe: Oh God! Is that veal?
Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Caitlin: Oh my God! That was flirting?!
CHANDLER: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Chandler: I do like that.
Chandler: (thinks) Thats the perfect amount!
Gunther: Thats the whole part?
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
Joey: Yeah, you dont want that.
(Monica and Ross indicate that they mean right now.)
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
Phoebe: No-no! Thats okay, well just start over. Okay? Hi! Im Phoebe.
Ross: Try telling my wife that.
Monica: Why would you do that?
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
LITTLE BULLY: I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My, my joke is that I, I took your hat.
Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.
Joey: I knew that! (They all look at him) I sooo didnt know that, but you should see your faces.
Ross: Um, see, but thats not the final draft.
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Phoebe: What is that?
Rachel: Aw, I love that.
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Rachel: What the hell was that?!
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?
Mike: hey wait wait wait wait wait! Is that true what you said Phoebe's never had a serious relationship?
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, thats not what I meant.
EDDIE: Oh yeah, that's right, look I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot fiestier that the last one.
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
Joey: Thats us.
Joey: Thats right, $2,000.
Ross: Is thatare you saying yes? Is that yes?
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I do that cause it makes me look taller.
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
Ross: Yes thats right.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!