words in movies
Ross: Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.
Chandler: Thats great!
Joey: And-and-and not only that, Im gettin a new brain!!
Joey: Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.
Phoebe: (Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?
Rachel: Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Phoebe: That wasnt a date! That was, that was just friends getting together (quietly) having sex.
Jessica Lockhart: (gasps) That was an accident! And so were you.
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Joey: That was a great scene! And-and-and that slap looks so real! How do you do that?
Cecilia: Im supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but thats not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!
Cecilia: Oh that was a real person?!
Joey: An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since Im getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me
Cecilia: Who told you that?
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Phoebe: Did I use that already today? Im sorry.
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Monica: What is that?
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
[Cut to Rosss apartment, he his playing the Bagpipes, badly. Hes worse than that whole keyboard thing a few years ago.]
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Rachel: No? So youre saying that if I called it, it wouldnt ring?
Phoebe: That is a different phone.
Phoebe: That is damning evidence.
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Cecilia: Joey, well thank you. That is so sweet. Oh, excuse me. (She throws her drink on a passing writer.)
Joey: Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-yel-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, Im really nervous about-about being you. Yknow if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Yknow? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?
Joey: Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!
Cecilia: Is that supposed to be me?
Joey: (shocked) I can do an English accent?! That babys going on my resume!
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Ross: How did you know about that?!
Chandler: Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Cecilia: No, he already knows that he owns everything in the room! Hes not finding it out for the first time! So, try it again.
Cecilia: I am. I am, but I dont know you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy.
Joey: Hey thats not true! Look at uh, look at Angela LansbAngelina Jolie!
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that cause shes so passionate?
Cecilia: No! Its because that way the camera only sees her! (She takes her hands off his face.) Do you wanna try it?
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Tom: No thats my assistant.
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Cecilia: Well, you certainly own that room.
Cecilia: Well, its nice to know that you
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Cecilia: Oh that explains all the womens underwear.
Cecilia: Id love to, but my lawyer said I cant do that anymore.
Joey: (notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!
Joey: Well no, Im just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! (Realizes what that means.) Oh
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
The Director: Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you!
Cecilia: (running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that youre a better Jessica than I ever was!
Cecilia: No thats La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.
Joey: Thats a really long time.
Cecilia: Yeah, but you can come and visit me. I bet that you could uh, own a few places down there.
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant againThat isI tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Cecilia: That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. Youve, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Ross: Look, I-I know its not a proposal and I dont know where you are, but with everything thats been going on and with Emma and Ive been feeling
Joey: Thats okay. Chandlers the one Im mad at.
Chandler: It's just that we've never spent any time, you know, alone together.
Tag: Wait-wait a minute; that doesn't make any sense.
Joey: Aww, man. Thats the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out hes my roommate, shes gonna tell him what I did.
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And Im okay with that.
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Chandler: Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.
Joey: Yeah! You did! And thats why Im leaving.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
JOEY: Absolutely.� You'd do it for me.� Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Chandler: That’s sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.
Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?
Ross: So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Monica: Ross you know that tonight is your date with Hillary?
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, thats the word I use when I cant remember the real thing.
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
Monica: See, Ive been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people Im only planning on doing this once. So, uh yknow, maybe this is selfish and Im sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that.
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Rachel: Ugh, Ross! That was not a near death experience! That was barely an experience!
Ross: That must be our alcohol and beers! (Gets up to answer it.)
Gary: Listen Chandler, the way I see it is that I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love. I justI wanna be around her as much as I can.
Joey: Yes we do! Now look, that was the best nap I ever had!!
Kathy: Oh, wow. I cant believe youre throwing that in my face.
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Phoebe: No! You don't have to do anything! Just don't tell them that we know!
Ross: No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But now you mention it, there was ice there that night... It was the first frost...
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so youd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Rachel: (stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Ross: Wow, I hadn't thought of that. I hope not.
Monica: All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us yknow how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
ROSS: Dad, you really don't want to do that.
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.
Monica: Listen, Im sure that dad doesnt care. He probably thought this was funny; hell be telling this story for years!
(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
Phoebe: (Visibly excited) Yeah!! Let's do that!
Ross: Okay, well, well call the company that sent her!
ROSS: That sounds great. Same for me.
PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with?
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
ROSS: Let's, let's take this outside? Who talks like that?
Doug: Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations to you guys though!
Chandler: Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us.
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but...
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Monica: Well, an-anyway, I justthat night meant a lot to me, I guess Im just trying to say thanks.
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Joey: Whom. (Everyone looks at him shocked.) Thats right.
Roy: No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Chandler: Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for?
He's finally happy with that and walks away.]
Kim: Rachel didn't you just light that?
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Rachel: Honey that sounds like fun.
Ross: Oh, I know. Yknow what, I never wouldve gotten this if it werent for you. No really, when Im with you Im-Im like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy!
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Chandler: What about all that friends forever stuff?
Joey: Hey, that guy's going home with more than a note!
Ross: I mean we dont want to go down that road do we?
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Mrs. Green: Thats true. You do have another child.
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Rachel: Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands.
CHANDLER: Hey, listen.� I'm never going to lie to you again, okay?� And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.