words in movies
Monica: Honey? Is that something youre making up?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Oh my God!! That is like the third most prestigious soap opera award there is!
Rachel: Oh, stop that! Dont kid about that! (Gasps) Will all the stars be there?
Ross: and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten its predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis?
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Morse: Thats not so good.
Ross: Well that brings me in the loop a little.
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Phoebe: Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out!
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Phoebe: I did, but that was really fun.
Rachel: What? No! Its not a big deal! I do that too, with my shampoo bottle.
Rachel: Ohh thats great!
Rachel: Well Joey, youll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Yknow when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Yknow? So its sorta like (Does it, youll have to see it.)
Phoebe: Oh, great! We couldnt keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while yknow, hed kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.)
Phoebe: I just like him so much that I just feel like Ive had 10 drinks today and Ive only had six.
Monica: Oh, I havent had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, Im never gonna have that feeling again am I?
Monica: No, a guy would be saying, "Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else." Oh my God! Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! Ive been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that Id be giving up! I mean, I Im never gonna have a first kiss again.
Joey: Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?
Joey: Howd you get over that teacher?
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
Joey: I can scratch that right off.
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Ross: And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.)
Ross: Well thats different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me!
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
Phoebe: No that is the last thing you want to do!
Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, youre supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
Monica: Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share?
Monica: Just, I love you so much. Just Its just sometimes it bothers me that Im never gonna have that feeling. Yknow when you meet someone for the first time and its new and exciting? Yknow that rush?
Monica: Okay, but all right youre a guy, does it not freak you that youre never gonna sleep with anybody else?
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Morse: (walking up) That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little hair cut?
Ross: Uh-hmm, yeah-yeah do you like it? Do-do you looove it? I just want you to know that Im changing your grade back.
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
CHANDLER: Well, how do you find clothes that fit?
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Joey (checks the refrigerator): Okay, let's see, we got strained peas, strained carrots... Ooh! Strained plums. We haven't tried that yet.
Joey: Okay. Sorry about that (Mimics that cheek thing he just did.) Uh, so wheres C.H.E.E.S.E.?
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Monica: That is never good.
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
Ross: (shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!
MONICA: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
RICHARD: Yeah. How 'bout that.
Joey: They actually said that?
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Chandler: Can I be that guy?
Chandler: They dont really talk to us about that kind of stuff. I can get you some free white out though.
CHANDLER: NO! No, I'll take that for ya.
Monica: Honey! Do you know that none of that stuff came from me?! I mean I never said I wanted to have babies and get married right now!
Ross: (jumping away) That would be no.
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Ross: Yeah, see, I dont think its gonna that difficult considering this one wont be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
Chandler: Thats not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Dont say that I dont have goals!
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
ROSS: (standing up) Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that...
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
Phoebe: Wow, thats close. Whens yours?
STRANGER: Hey, how, how did you do that?
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Phoebe: Well, y'know we dont call it that, but yeah!
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Ross: That would be me.
Girl: Thats my job!
Chandler: (angrily) Was that another question?
Phoebe: Nooo! Why would you think that?
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Chandler: Sir, can I ask you to umm, could you hold out that ring and ask me to marry you?
Monica: (hugging Chandler) I dont think youll ever get my parents that drunk!
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Chandler: Pff, easy for you to say, he's a father killer. He probably loves him mommy. He's probably got a tattoo that says "mom" on his shovel-wielding arm!
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Chandler: Well it you dont know that, then I dont want to do this with you.
Rachel: Well umm, that one is pretty but uh, I just, I just love this fabric (On the other one.) Sorry.
Frank Jr.: Oh, no! I would never do that. No. I just was thinking that, you know, maybe you could take one.
Ross: I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job!
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
Chandler: Because that would be crazy?
Phoebe: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.
Monica: Oh, thatd be great.
Phoebe: Oh, that is so unfortunate.
Eric: Thats weird.
Monica: You want some help with that?
Mike: I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
Monica: Isnt that great?
PHOEBE: Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines?
Joey: [It�s just] So spooky, that�s all.
Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Rachel: Amazingly, that makes sense.
Ross: (moving over to stand in front of her) Okay, okay. This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldnt work past it together...
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
Rachel: Hey, you know, before you said that nothing could happen between us? What changed?
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Chandler: Well, thanks a lot for hookin me up Rach. I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest.
Chandler: Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.
PHOE: That is funny.
Mr. Franklin: Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too?
Ross: Come on! Thats great.
Joey: No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
Rachel: Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when youre trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
Ross: Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant nothing to me!
Rachel: You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win.
Rachel: Oh yeah! I mean, that was pretty intense.
Rachel: Yeah. Thats Daddy.
Ross: Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I beat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five!
Monica: Okay. Right. Oh my God that is gonna be so hard.
Monica: Okay. That was her right?
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
Ross: We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen. (everyone is silent) Don't you hear that?
Ross: Look, look Im sorry. Its just that....
Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
Phoebe: Oh my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail?
Ross: Argue with that.
Ross: I know that!
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Ross: oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious?
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!