words in movies
Joey: Yknow what? I think thats enough for now. Yeah. I dont want to be over rehearsed.
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Chandler: That is lucky.
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Rachel: Ugh, how can you even ask that question?!
[And with that we go into the save the budget portion of the show, which features flashbacks from previous episodes. The first set of auditions feature high lights or low lights of Joeys acting career. The first flashback is from The One With The Lesbian Wedding.]
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
Monica: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Joey: I want this part so much! Yknow? If I dont get this part Im never gonna eat Macaroni and Cheese again!No, I didnt say that! Thats a lie.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Chandler: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi!
[The next flashback is from The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line. He's telling Joey that he kissed Cathy.]
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Chandler: Look, Im not saying that you should magically forgive me! But youre not perfect! Youve made some errors in judgment too!
[Chandler proceeds to point out Joeys errors in this forth set of flashbacks. The first flashback is from The One With The Cat. Chandler has just returned home to see that their apartment has been cleaned out and finds Joey trapped in the entertainment center.]
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's New Girlfriend. Chandler is telling Ross and Joey that Joey's tailor took advantage of him.]
Joey: That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Rachel: That is the most ridiculous...
Rachel: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Chandler: (angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!
Chandler: Yknow, sometimes that fake out thing is just mean!
Chandler: Well thats good. Because you didnt! And Im incredibly happy for ya!!
Joey: (shocked) Thats mean! You really had me going there!
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Joey: Yknow what? I think thats enough for today. Thanks for your help! (He grabs their scripts and heads for his room.)
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Joey: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, thats nice!
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend shaking up. Oh, thats great. Thats great. (Kisses and hugs her.)
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
Monica: Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?
Danny: Stop saying that. I hate that.
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
ROSS: Wow!� (pause)� Wow, You look . . . uh . . .�� It's just, ah . . .�� That dress . . . uh . . .�
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Phoebe: Oh wow. What, do you think maybe hes gonna tell you that hes gay?
Ross: Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you just said it!
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
CHANDLER: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
MONICA: That would be the work of a Blowfish.
Phoebe: Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
Ross: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.
Phoebe: Thats not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Ross: That cup is mine!
Joey: Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up.
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Phoebe: Oh you�ll probably take care of that on your hands.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there. Ross has a slip of paper that he throws on the ground tying to get Rachel's attention.]
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
Rachel: Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying!
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. Were not gonna be
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Joey: That is incredible! You are the master!
Rachel: Yes, and I know that youd say no if he asked you, but Im sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. (shows her the picture.)
Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Chandler: Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.
Tag: Thats it. Thats my whole name.
Phoebe: Thats a dog, every house should have a dog.
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
Phoebe: Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, thats pretty amazing too.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Chandler: That is amazing.
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
Monica: How do you do that?
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Chandler: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Kyle: we talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other was because there are still feelings there. So (Pause)
Emily: I still cant believe theyre tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building youll ever see. I mean its over (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!
Rachel: Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?
Monica: There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica.
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Phoebe: No, look, don't touch that!
Joey: Thats right! By his uncle too!
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
(Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.)
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
Girl: Really? You don't know what that means to me.
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesnt mean that-that you're in love with me!
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, shed be there.