words in movies
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Chandler: I thought we werent gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Yknow, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Joey: Oh yeah, that was a pretty good night.
Chandler: I cant believe you didnt tell me! You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty!
Monica: Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont eat that either.
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Dr. Green: Thats true.
Ross: Yeah, a lot of my students do that.
Chandler: Well, you have to honest with her! Otherwise you may think that youre going down the same path, but youre really going down different ones.
Joey: Im gonna take that book and beat you to death with it.
Chandler: Honey! Thats crazy! I dont want you to get me a stripper
Phoebe: Im sorry I wont be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but Im really busy that day. Yeah, I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Chandler: Thats me.
Stripper: So is that a bedroom? (Points to the guestroom.)
Chandler: That was weird.
Joey: Yeah, thats one naked hooker!
Ross: Uh thats an eighteenth century Indian artifact from Calcutta.
Dr. Green: Oh? Really? Thats what my daughter means to you? Nothing?
Ross: (to Mona) Oh but not that way. I mean I mean Im not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend.
Dr. Green: Oh really? Thats how treat a friend? You get her in trouble and then refuse to marry her?
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Chandler: That is funny, maybe for my birthday shell murder someone.
Chandler: Oh actually, Id rather you Yeah, go ahead. Were gonna have to burn that room down anyway.
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Monica: Yeah! Hey! Thanks for getting me that girls number.
Monica: Is that, is that what they call strippers sometimes?
Stu: Either that or shes just the best, most expensive date I ever had.
Chandler: Why would she do that?
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
Rachel: Oh okay, Ill fix that to. Whats her e-mail address?
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Mona: Oh good, youre here. Yeah, and I was worried that it was going to be uncomfortable.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Mona: How can I be sure on that?
Rachel: Right! But, none of that compared to how kind and-and how gentle and thoughtful he is. (Rubbing his shoulder.)
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Joey: (To Monica) Hey. That uh, that my sweatshirt?
Phoebe: Well, it's great that you're back! How are you?
Joey: (starting to cry) I gotta go check something over here. (He walks away so that they cant see him cry.)
Phoebe: When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure.
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
Phoebe: Yeah, well, well see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.
Joey: That would be Casey. Were going out tonight.
(They start kissing and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. And Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Monica.)
Chandler: Well good, good for you. You really think that Roger is the perfect guy?
Joey: He's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so what? You slept with her for seven years after that.
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
Joey: I did not know that! Thank you Monica. (Starts to leave) I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting.
Joey: (gets up) All right. Don't look at my list, Ross, 'cause there's a lot on there that you don't have.
Ross: Thats correct. Ladies?
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
Rachel: Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May we help you?
Chandler: Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre.
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! (Runs over and opens the door.)
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Joey: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test...
Gunther: Oh thats cool, I was gonna fire you anyway.
Chandler: How can I answer that when Im pretending I dont know you?
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Monica: How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room.
Chandler: Yeah, I dont you should say that even when youre healthy.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Phoebe: That sounds great!
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Phoebe: (covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?
Phoebe: Oh No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Rachel: Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just dont date Ross! Theres a million other guys out there, you just
Rachel: My God, Im sorry! Im sorry! I didnt mean to do that! I wouldnt do that!
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Rachel: Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner.
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Monica: No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself.
Passenger: Oh-no.(He bites his fist at her.)And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. (Rachel gasps and doesnt know what to say. He puts his headphones back on.)
Ross: I'm sorry. It's just that this is the worse Thanksgiving ever.
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Frank: Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I dont see how I could all of the sudden be too young, cause Im older than I was when we first got together.
Rachel: (Into mike) Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. Woo!
Phoebe: And tell them that in 2 weeks I will once again be a masseuse in good standing!
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
Joey: Hey, listen, lady....(sees that she's pregnant)...whoa.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Joey: Say that to him and you're golden. (She just glares at him.)
(The dog returns with a ball that looks exactly like the same one Joey has.)
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew!! Its so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean."
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
Rachel: We hate that guy.
Phoebe: Oh thats good, the chemistry thing for us too.
Phoebe: Okay, ah, before you get all talky again, umm, could you also please tell Sergei that I really like his suit.
Chandler: Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever!
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
Monica: That sounds like Nana.
MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
Phoebe: That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping.
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: Yeah well next thing you know, hell be telling you that your high heels are good for his posture!
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Joey: Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You dont want to lose that.
Rachel: And you weren't going to tell us? How did you think you were gonna get away with that?
Rachel: I... I... I... (again saying something that cannot be understood)
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too.
Joey: Thats not fair! I cant do that.
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
CHANDLER: I had sex today. I never have to answer that phone again.
Rachel: Oh yeah, sorry. Wait honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you off?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another showdown is occuring, only this time its between Ross, a plate of cookies, and the breast milk. They've been eyeing each other for a while now, and Chandler and Joey are getting bored. He checks his Ross and in frustration, shoves his watch in front of Ross's eyes as if saying, "Hurry it up already!" Finally, Ross scratches his head, does that again, itches his nose, scratches his head, grabs the bottle, takes a big swig, and piles several cookies into his mouth.]
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
Chandler: I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry.
Joey: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they dont even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box!
Phoebe: Okay. (singing) Jingle bitch screwed me over! Go to hell jingle whore! Go to hell Go to hell. Go to hell-hell-hell. Thats all I have so far.
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.
Monica: Thats-thats not Phase Three.
MONICA: Man, man that is sharp. It must have cost you quite a few debloons.
Chandler: Oh, thats uh, thats pretty nice but Im gonna go with the one I picked first.
Pete: Oh, one other thing. Hoshi thinks that you being ringside may have affected my concentration.
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.