words in movies
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Ross: Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal.
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!
Rachel: What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card?
Teacher: (To the class) People! Last time there were some empty yoghurt containers lying around after class. Let's not have that happen again!
Chandler: I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen.
Ross: Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, y'know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke.
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Phoebe: I'd say that chair's taking the brunt.
Joey: Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You'd think you would've known that!
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.
Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?
Ross: That was good.
Actor: (Very melodramatically, and very badly) Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might... touch thy cheek...
Ross: that you actually
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Phoebe: I started that!
Rachel: That is seven days!
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)
Rachel: Ill take that bet.
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Joey: Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!
Chandler: Yes that would have made more sense.
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Chandler: Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.
Monica: That was a half an hour?
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Ross: (simultaneously as Rachel) Were not gonna do that.
Chandler: So you didnt mean any of that?!
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Rachel: Well, as long as we are clear about that. (Exits smugly.)
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I-I would like that.
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
Woman: Oooh, that sounded like a bad one.
Rachel: Thats the end of this conversation!
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Rachel: Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. Im just gonna throw it out, its probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Phoebe: Ooh, I love that place! (Thinks about it.) So, no.
Rachel: Go get back on that case honey!
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
Ross: What is that?
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Chandler: That was amazing.
Monica: No, Ive had second thoughts about that. Do you realize how hard that would be to clean?
Rachel: Oh honey, but you love that name.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
Benjamin: Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place?
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
Ross: Thats right, and thats why we celebrate Hanukkah today. The end.
Ross: Thats less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.
Chandler: That was you?! I thought it was Jack!
Chandler: What?! Why does she think that?
Joey: Oh, I like that. Yeah
Ross: Aww that is so cool.
Joey: Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Rachel: No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me?
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time...
Monica: Hi Dad! I can still call you that right?
Monica: Well, thats okay dad, we-we can wait until later.
Joey: (trying not to laugh) That means a lot to me man. (Exits.)
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Ross: Well that brings me in the loop a little.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Monica: No, honey, its. thats a special plate. See its a game, whoever gets that plate wins.
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
Joey: Why isnt that valet back with my Porsche?
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
Monica: That was me.
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Monica: I know, thats why I said again!
Rachel: Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that.
Joey: Well, we got plenty of space! There-there's still some over there (Points to where the window is but sees that there isn't any space there and points towards his door.) by-by that speaker. Please, just stay!
Monica: What? Who says that?