words in movies
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Mike: I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
Ross: Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that.
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I’ll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Chandler: I don’t think you can do that!
Chandler: That’s sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don’t think that that’s ever happened before.
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Chandler: But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building.
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Laura: What was that?
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Ross: No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Mike: You never told me about that guy on your sweet sixteen. Oh, ugh. I'm sorry about that.
Mike: Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that.
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Chandler: Any room that isn't behind this couch! (laughs nervously)
Joey: (quivering with anger) I did not care for that!
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Laura: (laughing nervously) I'm sorry that you had to see that. I'm so embarrassed...
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
Mike: Well, I mean... It sounds good to me. And that way we can save up, come back in a few years and make an even bigger donation.
Phoebe: Oh, is that you?
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
MINDY: Well uh, after you ran out on your wedding, Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane.
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Chandler: Let me see that.
ROSS: I'll take that dad. [grabs the bat]
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Rachel: So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her.
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Rachel: Yeah, I can do that.
Chandler: Okay, but after that, were shootin some pool.
Phoebe: Really?! Oh thats so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again Ill have to pound on you for a little bit.
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Monica: Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal.
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Ross: (he makes some really weird noise hear that sounds kind of like )Ayyyayyyy!
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
Rachel: Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.
JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Joey: Wow! How do you know how to do that?!
Monica: Joey! (He returns) Now that youre here
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Rachel: Ok, not that you need it but good...GOD!Is that Chase Lassiter?He's straight, right?
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Ross: Thats my gym.
Cashier: Really?! That is so cool!
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
Chandler: No, that was Dana Caplin.
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Monica: Thats right.
Melissa: I dont know. I dont remember a lot of things that never happened.
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Rachel: Well, ultimately, I was trying y'know, I-I wanted tell him y'know, that I'm still in love with him.
Rachel: What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Ross: that you actually
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Phoebe: I started that!
Rachel: That is seven days!
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)
Rachel: Ill take that bet.
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Joey: Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!
Chandler: Yes that would have made more sense.
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Chandler: Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.
Monica: That was a half an hour?
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Ross: (simultaneously as Rachel) Were not gonna do that.
Chandler: So you didnt mean any of that?!
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Rachel: Well, as long as we are clear about that. (Exits smugly.)
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I-I would like that.
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
Woman: Oooh, that sounded like a bad one.
Rachel: Thats the end of this conversation!
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Rachel: Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. Im just gonna throw it out, its probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Phoebe: Ooh, I love that place! (Thinks about it.) So, no.
Rachel: Go get back on that case honey!
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.