words in movies
(The clerk enters the video into the computer.)
Clerk: Eight oclock is the cut-off and, (looks at his watch) aww, its 8:02.
Monica: Wow! Your lip went bald. (Richard pays the clerk) Hey, thanks.
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Monica: You see that guy? Hes in classics now, but y'know as soon as we leave hes going straight to the porn.
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Rachel: I will wake you up in a way thats proved very popular in the past.
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now shes celebrating that by going on a date with him.
Joey: Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know youll probably be hungry after the sex.
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klien. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day?
Rachel: Hmm. (she opens the freezer) Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer?
Rachel: But ah, youre safe from it if its in the freezer?
Joey: Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure weve got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Rachel: Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean thats a classic, whats so great about The Shining?
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
Chandler: The man is showing brain.
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Ross: Hey! Howd the ah, basketball go?
Phoebe: Yeah, in the back. You want a quarter?
(He puts his leg up on the couch to get the quarter, once again exposing himself to Chandler and Ross. In horror, Chandler, slides over and leans against Joey on the couch.)
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
(Robert walks away and the guys all start laughing in front of Phoebe.)
Phoebe: What? (the guys keep laughing.) What? You guys, what is going on? You not like Robert? (the guys keep laughing.) Why are you laughing?!
(The guys start laughing harder.)
Chandler: Im sorry, Im sorry, it just seems that Robert isnt as concealed in the shorts area, as ah, one may have hoped.
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Monica: So, howd the lasagne go over? (listens) Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. (listens) Yeah, Ive been thinking a lot about you too. (listens) I know. Its hard this whole platonic thing. (listens) Its a word!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
Robert: You ready to go to the batting cage?
Chandler: Stretchy pants! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you I would wear them every day, every day!
Joey: Hey, Rach, how you doing with The Shining?
Joey: Oooh, the next parts the best, when that dead lady in the bathtub...
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Joey: Hey! Mine was by accident! All right, the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, and kills the dad.
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading The Shining, as Monica enters.]
(She goes into her bedroom, and sees Richard who has covered the room in roses and has two glasses of wine and a rose between his lips.)
Phoebe: Please, right now, no, every time I see him its like Is it on the lose? Is it watching me?
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
Gunther: (cleaning up the table) (to Robert) Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house.
(Robert looks down and realises the problem.)
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
Richard: (outside the bedroom) Really?! Well, its just like everyone elses apartment. Its got rooms, walls, and ceilings.
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! (She frantically tries to clean up the bedroom as Richard starts the tour.)
Richard: Ah well, this is the living room.
Richard: All right. This is the kitchen.
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
Richards Date: Were still on this side of the door.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) So um, who was she?
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) Did you like her? And Im just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this.
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Monica: Y'know what, Ive got to walk out of here right now, cause getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I dont think I could do it again.
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
Monica: Watch the thorns!
Rachel: Do you want to put the book in the freezer?
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Monica: Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!!
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is seated, and the apartment is filled with baskets of fruit. Joey enters, check in hand.]
(The next couple enters.)
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Rachel: Hey, hows hows the uh, miracle chair?
The Stripper: Ohhh, look at the little birdies! Are those yours?
Monica: (entering with Rachel) All right boys, last chance for the tickets!
Rachel: And Im Rachel, an admirer of the building.
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Monica: Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little?
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Rachel: Oh for the love of God!
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Cliff: Are all the questions this personal?
Joey: (checking the list) Yes.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Joey: Seriously guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
Monica: He called the Long Island Expressway a concrete miracle.
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, theyre brining in yet another woman.]
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Chandler: Not the disposable cameras from the tables.
Ross: No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! (The librarian brings his boss over.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
Ross: In the death seat?!!
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
Chandler: Id like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please.
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
Phoebe: Im just helping the kids!
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Monica: Whats the matter?
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
Chandler: Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order.
Chandler: Batman has the Batmobile!
(The rest of the gang arrives including Parker.)
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs]
Phoebe: Okay! All right, let's start with the handshake. Hi.
Chandler: I am strong! Ill show you! (He sits down at the table.)
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
Chandler: Then, I might as well � (grabs the cigarettes) do this (lights one, exhales). Not really sure what to do now.
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel are arriving and see his parents.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Later in the day.
Gary: Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.
Rachel: Yknow youre-youre probably wondering about the old date on there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking.]
Ross starts playing with a plate: Woah. Woah... <nearly really drops the plate and more seriously> Woah.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time...
Rachel: What? Wait! Why why do you get the story?
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]
EDDIE: Oh, right, all right, you know what pallie I understand, consider me gone, you know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow.
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)