words in movies
Rachel: Chandler, theres a guy right over there. (Points to the counter)
Chandler: Thats a mailman! Thats our mailman! (Waves to the mailman) (Sarcastic) Hi. How are ya?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Janice: Yeah, Im riding the alimony pony. (Does the now famous laugh.)
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Chandler: Dont worry about it. Im taking care of it tonight. (Chandler opens the fridge and grabs something to drink.)
Chandler: (standing in the door of the fridge) Well, I dont have to break up with her this time. Were not involved! Im going to do a pre-emptive strike! Im going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! (Closes the fridge.)
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Devon: Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Liam: In fact were playing a game at the park tomorrow. Youre welcome to play too if you want.
(Liam and Devon both take a swig of their beers, while Ross takes a swig of his coffee. The Brits both crush their cans, and not to be out done, Ross crushes his coffee cup, spilling its contents.)
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Janice: Oh, look at us! Who wouldve thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. (Does the laugh)
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Rachel: Yknow, you-you also couldve used uh, lamps and then followed the light.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Ross: Oh, just hold on a second. Im watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I dont know what the big deal is. Im man enough to play this sport.
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
(Janice runs into the bedroom.)
Chandler: Im only going to pretend Im moving to Yemen, its the only way I can get rid off her.
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Emily: Im just going to say hi to the lads. All right?
Emily: Okay. (Goes to say hi to the lads.)
Phoebe: (to the player) Hi.
(The player stands up and smiles. Showing that he has no front teeth.)
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
(The referee blows the whistle and the players gather to start the game.)
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Emily: Liam, do me a favour. Tell the lads to go easy on Ross, its his first time.
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
(The scrum forms and the game is underway.)
(Ross walks over to the scrum, walks around a bit looking for a way to get into the scrum.)
Liam: Ross, come on! Get in the bloody scrum! Ross, get in!
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
Rachel: (refers to the table) What are these?
Monica: Electrical plans for the building.
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Chandler: Yknow you, really didnt have to take me to the airport.
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Chandler: Okay. Then I guess its just, wait here then. (Hands her the sign that says, Wait Here.") (To the ticket agent) Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen.
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Chandler: (to the ticket agent) American Express?
[Scene: The rugby game, Ross is getting killed.]
Phoebe: No offence but, yknow sometimes its hard to understand you, yknow with the accent, so
(The whistle blows.)
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesnt wear a cup.
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
Monica: Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought theyd brighten up the place. They do dont you think?
(Rachel rips one of the wall and finds a huge hole underneath.)
Rachel: I dont care! The wires have come loose in your head!
Monica: I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.
(Rachel removes a paper on the floor which is covering a hole and gasps.)
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Phoebe: Ooh, ice! I am so in the mood for ice! (They go and get the coffee and the ice leaving Ross and Emily alone.)
Ross: Its worth the pain. (She goes to hug him again.) Yknow what, you know what? Its not.
[Scene: The airport, the flight to Yemen is being called.]
Ticket Counter Attendant: (on the P.A.) This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.
Janice: Oh. Well, Ill right you everyday. (Reading the address) 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Monica: All right. The super couldnt figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldnt figure out what it did. Ive had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Eric: Just seeing her brought it all back. All the lies, the way she used me. I just I got so angry just looking at her (Looks at Phoebe) face.
(Larry goes to leave but heads the wrong way and makes a quick sidestep to go out the right door.)
Girl: Why dont you look in the mirror, scrud.
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
Joey: Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later!
Joey's Co-Star: Not if we extract tissue from the original host body, synthesize antibodies, and introduce them into your system, which could stop it from rejecting the brain.
The Security Guard: I'm just taking you outside!
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Colleen: The bathroom is down the hall, to your left.
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Rachel: Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some.
(The oven timer pings in the kitchen.)
(He runs off to the kitchen.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Charlie: No, no, no, not the Mets, the MET, singular!
Monica: Why? What did you do in the bathroom?
Phoebe: (catches it) Nah, I don't feel like playing. (She sets the ball down on the table and everyone gasps.)
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
Chandler: No, its not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monicas face when I gave it to her, yknow? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing Im gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure its perfect.
Charlie: You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
(He goes back to the kitchen.)
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel]
Ross: My first time with Carol was... (He mumbles the last part)
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
THE END
Chandler: Wow! So tonight may be the night! You're nervous?
(The triplets stare at him.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
[The next clip is from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
Chandler: I wanna quit the bank!
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Male Guest: (to the Maitre d') Good evening. (Shakes his hand)
(All are returning from the street after picking up dropped lottery tickets)
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Joey: What’s the matter?
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Donny: Okay. Give me sixty seconds on the clock please... Ready, GO! (runs off)
(The machine picks up the phone)
Chandler: Hello? Is someone on the line?
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Joey: London baby!! (And Rachel slowly closes the door, sadly.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Chandler: Sure! Thats one of the great things about being engaged. Im not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Ross: Hey! Howd the ah, basketball go?
PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
[Scene: The hallway]
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
Joey: I'm gonna get the lasagna.
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
Chandler: What d'ya know... It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
Joey: Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Monica: Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
(Chandler enters the apartment)
Rachel: What is the matter with us?
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
The Teacher: All right, let's move on.
(Ross closes the door)
(The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.)
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Ross: That's the hope! So, is Emma awake yet?
Joey: Yeah, I thought so too but, she said the casting people had some problems with me.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Chandler: Was that place... The Sun?
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Phoebe: Okay, well if I was in this for the money, Id be a millionaire by now, y'know. You just got to get out of that jingle head sweetie.
Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.