words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
Monica: Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Joey: (to the rest of the gang) Somebody help me out here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)
Monica: All right, hand me that other box of photos; that's the very last one.
(She picks up the box and the bottom falls out, spilling all of the pictures onto Monica's neat little piles.)
Ross: Ross has the blender! Ugh, everything's just falling apart!
Rachel: No honey, it's okay! Listen, I'll got to Ross's and get the blender, you get all the margarita stuff ready.
Monica: All right, he's keys are in the drawer. Y'know what? I also need some cash.
Rachel: Okay, you want me to stop at the ATM?
(Rachel slowly leaves the apartment.)
[Scene: Gary's cop car, Ross is in the front seat with Gary of course. Chandler is in the back seat.]
Ross: (to Gary) That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy.
Gary: Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.
Ross: Oh hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for ya?
Gary: It's called the cherry.
Ross: It's theChandler!!
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Joey: Half the taste is in the smell! You-you're sucking up all the tastiness!
Joey: Okay, imagine the best sex you've ever had.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door with her coat and it breaks.]
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
Monica: (on the answering machine) Rach! It's me! Pick up!
(Rachel runs over and answers the phone with the blender in hand.)
Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila.
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Emily: (on answering machine) Hello Ross? It's Emily. (Rachel runs back into the room with the tequila.) I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
[Scene: The ride along.]
Joey: Come on man! (To Gary) Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes a little bit before he lawyers up?
Ross: Hello! I'm in the front seat, okay? I'm Gary's partner!
Ross: Umm, jealous! (He drops the cherry and it turns on.)
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
Chandler: Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors.
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Rachel: I don't think he's the one who needs help.
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Rachel: Okay, you are crazy! I'm sorry, but she sounded generally upset! I mean, listen! (She hits a button on the machine.)
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]
Gary: Oh it's nothing, it just says that you can't sue the city if you scrap your knee or y'know, get your head blown off.
Gary: Okay, here he comes. What is he doing? What the hell is he doing?!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Monica has all the supplies she needs and is getting ready to leave.]
Monica: Oh yeah right! (She grabs the money and shoves into her pocket.)
Monica: There's nothing we can do. You erased the message!
(The phone rings.)
Rachel: Oh, maybe that's Emily calling back to leave the exact same message.
Ross: (on the machine) Hey Ross! It's you! I just want you to remember this feeling. You are lucky to be alive! So live everyday to the fullest. Love yourself, okay? Okay. Oh, and also get stamps. Bye! (He hangs up.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the guys are returning from the ride along to find Phoebe already there.]
Ross: Pheebs, we had the most incredible night! Okay, so, we're in the car
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Gary: Hey Joe, you ever think about joining the force? We could use a guy like you.
Chandler: Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. (He gets up and starts for the door.)
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Chandler: Oh, I just went for a walk, around the living room. Whatever
Chandler: No. No I'm just tired. Y'know, from-from the walk.
Joey: Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture.
Chandler: Look I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but y'know, it could've been a bullet and you y'know, you didn't try to save me!
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Chandler: Thanks. (He grabs the sandwich.)
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is trying to repair the thing she broke earlier, but gets interrupted by hearing Ross at the door. She panics and throws the thing into the kitchen. And runs to the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!
Ross: Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)
Ross: The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had an actual near death experience!
Ross: Okay, okay, we were on the ride along with Gary, right?
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Rachel: Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Ross: Okay, look, yesterday I would've even considered calling her back, but my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near death experience. I mean, that-that has got to mean something!
Ross: Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.
(Ross hits the playback button.)
Ross: (on machine) "Hey Ross, it's you!" (Hits the stop button) Oh yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that.
Rachel: No. (She heads for the door again.)
Ross: (looking at the coffee table where his money was) Hey umm, was-was Monica here?
Rachel: (going out the door) Yeah, uh you-you probably need that for stamps, right?
Ross: I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us.
Chandler: Yes, if the foxhole was lined with sandwiches.
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)
Rachel: So, does this (The dress) come in another color or (The store owner walks away.)
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Ross: You were the 200-pound 11-year-old who rode her!
Joey: No! No, fear of the number 13.
Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Rosss door.]
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
ERICA: Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge.
Phoebe: Oo, where are the seats?
Chandler: Tell it to the Time Turtle!
Joey: Yes! Yes, youre back in the lead!
Ross: Id like to spin the wheel!
Ross: Oh, but I've got tickets to the Van Gogh exhibit! I've been waiting like a year for this.
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
Chandler: This is the best game ever!!!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He is sitting on the barcalounger holding a French study book and listening to a French learning tape.]
Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.
Marsha: He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!
The Girls: Hey!
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Paul: Okay. Ill be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
(She don't got it as the couch slips out of their grips and falls over the bottom railing.)
Rachel: With my alignment. Ive got one leg shorter than the other.
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
PHOEBE: Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is helping Joey pack.]
Cheryl: So, thank you for the delicious dinner.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you dont know much about the U.S. government.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Kate: By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review.
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)
Phoebe: Well, the interview
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
The Food Critic: Still?
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
Eric: Cause the sweats getting in my eyes and its burning.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
The Cooking Teacher: Okay, go ahead.
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
The Cooking Teacher: And the cream?
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
The Cooking Teacher: The chef!
The Cooking Teacher: Okay. Lets move on.
(Rachel holds her hand in order to support her head. Mr Zellner obviously overheard the conversation.)
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.]
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
Monica: No! You dont know the system! Therell be nobody messing with the system!
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
The Cooking Teacher: Very much.
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
The Interviewer: You mustve had your hands full.
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
The Interviewer: Poo?
The Interviewer: Poo?!
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
The Interviewer: Like the candy?
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Joey: (to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.
Ross: The bathroom?
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Joey: What the hell!
Rachel: Right! (Heads for the bathroom.)