words in movies
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
Monica: Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto?
Phoebe: Would you say your pesto is the best-o?
(Monica goes over and grabs the pesto.)
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Mr. Franklin: Wow Bing! Burning the midnight oil.
Chandler: You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Chandler: The Hard Rock Caf�?
(They go out to the elevators.)
Ross: Im telling you, I like the food!
Chandler: You like the Purple Rain display! (A guy walks up.) Hey Bob.
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Chandler: No! That would be so awkward! LookBesides, we work in different departments. Hes on the sixth floor yknow? So he calls me Toby once in a while. Whats the big deal? It could be worse, its not like hes calling me Muriel. (Chandler suddenly freezes into place.)
Joey's Co-Star: Drake, Ive discovered the reason for all your headaches and memory loss.
Joey's Co-Star: Not if we extract tissue from the original host body, synthesize antibodies, and introduce them into your system, which could stop it from rejecting the brain.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
Joey: Oh you know uh Kash, really liked you the other day. He said he thought you were charming.
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
(The elevator doors opens, Bob boards the elevator, Chandler walks away, and Mr. Franklin steps out of the elevator.)
Mr. Franklin: But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. Ive got a stack of documents on my desk this high. (Holds his hand at shoulder level.)
Chandler: Yknow what you should do, just toss em in the shedder and claim you never got em.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is in the kitchen as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: No! No-no! He is totally incompetent. I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, "Ha-ha! Gotcha!"
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Phoebe: Okay. But the question is whos gonna go first. Cause whoever goes second is the bitch.
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
Phoebe: All right, that makes sense. (Starts towards the door.) Ugh. ButScrew you Im going first! (She grabs her purse and runs out.)
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Ross: Why no, its the opposite of weird. Its-its uh, regular. Its-its uh, its mundane. Its actually uh, a little dull.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Ross: Yes it is too slutty! (Joey slams the door before Rachel could hear the entire sentence.)
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Joey: Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isnt Rachel.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
Chandler: Okay Bob listen uhh, Im the reason you didnt get the job up here.
Monica: Yeah and-and Im sorry too. But, well I justI like things done a certain way and the chemistrys just not right.
Phoebe: Oh thats good, the chemistry thing for us too.
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Ross: Well, how was the date?
Rachel: I made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant.
Rachel: Oh its all right. Im guess Im just done with the whole dating thing. Its one more thing in my life thats suddenly completely different. This is hard.
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
(He kisses her on the cheek and heads to Central Perk.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering and Mona from the wedding recognizes him.]
Mona: Hey its Mona! From the wedding.
(Ross continues to talk to her as the camera pans to show Rachel standing in the doorway.)
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Chandler: (entering) Bob. Bob! Bob!!! (He turns around) What the hell are you doing?!
(He thinks about it and decides to join in by turning over a chair and continue ransacking the place.)
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Paul: Okay. Ill be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
(She don't got it as the couch slips out of their grips and falls over the bottom railing.)
Rachel: With my alignment. Ive got one leg shorter than the other.
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
PHOEBE: Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is helping Joey pack.]
Cheryl: So, thank you for the delicious dinner.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you dont know much about the U.S. government.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Kate: By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review.
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)
Phoebe: Well, the interview
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
The Food Critic: Still?
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
Eric: Cause the sweats getting in my eyes and its burning.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
The Cooking Teacher: Okay, go ahead.
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
The Cooking Teacher: And the cream?
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
The Cooking Teacher: The chef!
The Cooking Teacher: Okay. Lets move on.
(Rachel holds her hand in order to support her head. Mr Zellner obviously overheard the conversation.)
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.]
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
Monica: No! You dont know the system! Therell be nobody messing with the system!
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
The Cooking Teacher: Very much.
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
The Interviewer: You mustve had your hands full.
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
The Interviewer: Poo?
The Interviewer: Poo?!
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
The Interviewer: Like the candy?
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Joey: (to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.
Ross: The bathroom?
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Joey: What the hell!
Rachel: Right! (Heads for the bathroom.)
Joey: Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY!
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
Chandler: Oh, you don't want me on the trip?
Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'.
Phoebe: (to the students) Oh, Im sorry. Im so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's Sandwich, Ross his confronting his boss about him eating Ross's sandwich.]
Chandler: Oh good, 'cause I've already thought of 3... 4! I've just thought of a fourth (he goes towards the counter)
Ross: Uh sweetie, maybe youd be more comfortable here? (Gets up from the green armchair.)
[Scene: Unitel Video, Studio 55, Joey's telethon, he is being shown around by the stage director.]
Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!
JADE: Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
Chandler: Madre Sierra the of Treasure!
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Phoebe: Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
Elizabeth: The guys across the hall are throwing water balloons at us.
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Chandler: Because then we would be the guys who turned off free porn.
Monica: Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.
Monica: Shes in the bathroom.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]