words in movies
Phoebe: Oh hey you guys, I couldn�t get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
Phoebe: Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven�t been together the six of us in such a long time.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Claudia: I�m sorry. Does the smoke bother you?
Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it�s legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. (passing the pack) Would you like one?
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
[Scene: The Bings�. Monica in bathrobe, merely covered. Someone�s knocking at the door.]
Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat! (It�s obviously Halloween eve, the night of her birthday dinner.)
Monica: (opening the door) Hey!
Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We�ll probably be the first ones there.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound � and the breasts of a Greek goddess.
Chandler: (getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell � Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!
Monica: (naughty in doorway) Welcome home. I�ve missed you. join me in the bedroom?
Chandler: (shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just get off the plane, so I�m feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower.
Chandler: (still backs away) Alright, the truth is, I soiled myself during some turbulences.
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Ross: Oh, what were the other two?
Rachel: Well, let�s see. The first one is: I don�t want to. And, you know, I�m not going.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Ross: Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don�t you, why don�t you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then I�ll meet you there.
Ross: No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red. (Slang right?)
Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can�t get in there] (?), the baby�s fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell your] story walking. (?)
[Scene: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a table for six.]
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Phoebe: Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing.
[Scene: The Bings�.]
Chandler: Will power? I�ve watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs (?) without taking the tin foil off.
Chandler: You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she here by the way?
Chandler: Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be?
Chandler: Then, I might as well � (grabs the cigarettes) do this (lights one, exhales). Not really sure what to do now.
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I�m ovulating, and when we don�t do it now, we�ll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)
Ross: Okay, well the ??? is not home.
Ross: Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y�you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby�s sleeping.
Rachel: What if she jumped out the bassinet?
Rachel: Oh my god, I left the water running.
Ross: Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?
Rachel: Ah, did I leave the stove on?
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there�s a window open, a bird could fly in there.
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
[Scene: The restaurant with still just Phoebe and Joey.]
Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there�s still some food left on their place, okay, what�s the restaurant�s policy about people eatin� that?
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Maitre D�: Good evening, Miss. (Phoebe turns her head away) Miss? (from the opposite side) Miss? (she turns again) Miss!
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
[Scene: The Bings� bedroom, Chandler is undressing, Monica in bed already.]
Monica: Spend more time with the tie. That�ll make a baby.
Chandler: That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I�m not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived?
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
[Scene: Ms. Geller, Rachel and Ross storm into the apartment.]
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
[Scene: Restaurant, still just the not-couple.]
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Phoebe: Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend?
Rachel: We got locked out of the apartment, we �
Ross: And then Rachel wasn�t sure she could leave the baby.
Phoebe: And that�s Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I�m not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she�s doing at home and I�m being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!
Ross: Okay, I�ll have the fixed salad and the duck.
Rachel: Yah, I�ll have the soup and the salmon.
Monica: You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. (being sat down) Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn�t it? How d�you get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.
Chandler: I suppose that Monica will have the � manipulative shrew.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Rachel: Y�guys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to the beauty salon?
Chandler: You mean the lully story?
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Chandler: What�s the matter with me? Why I�m such a girl?
Phoebe: Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, nkay, I�m gonna take off.
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Monica: We don�t have much time. Once the egg descended the oviduct �
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
Maitre D�: I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.
Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.
Joey: Excellent. The shrew in particular was exclusive.
Joey: That�s the best birthday ever.
Rachel: So, does this (The dress) come in another color or (The store owner walks away.)
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Ross: You were the 200-pound 11-year-old who rode her!
Joey: No! No, fear of the number 13.
Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Rosss door.]
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
ERICA: Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge.
Phoebe: Oo, where are the seats?
Chandler: Tell it to the Time Turtle!
Joey: Yes! Yes, youre back in the lead!
Ross: Id like to spin the wheel!
Ross: Oh, but I've got tickets to the Van Gogh exhibit! I've been waiting like a year for this.
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
Chandler: This is the best game ever!!!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He is sitting on the barcalounger holding a French study book and listening to a French learning tape.]
Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.
Marsha: He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!
The Girls: Hey!
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Paul: Okay. Ill be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
(She don't got it as the couch slips out of their grips and falls over the bottom railing.)
Rachel: With my alignment. Ive got one leg shorter than the other.
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
PHOEBE: Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is helping Joey pack.]
Cheryl: So, thank you for the delicious dinner.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you dont know much about the U.S. government.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Kate: By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review.
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Joey: Nice shoes, huh? (He wiggles his foot and the bells tinkle)
Phoebe: Well, the interview
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
The Food Critic: Still?
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
Eric: Cause the sweats getting in my eyes and its burning.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
The Cooking Teacher: Okay, go ahead.
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
The Cooking Teacher: And the cream?
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
The Cooking Teacher: The chef!
The Cooking Teacher: Okay. Lets move on.
(Rachel holds her hand in order to support her head. Mr Zellner obviously overheard the conversation.)
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.]
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
Monica: No! You dont know the system! Therell be nobody messing with the system!
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
The Cooking Teacher: Very much.
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
The Interviewer: You mustve had your hands full.
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
The Interviewer: Poo?
The Interviewer: Poo?!
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
The Interviewer: Like the candy?
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Joey: (to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.
Ross: The bathroom?
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Joey: What the hell!
Rachel: Right! (Heads for the bathroom.)