words in movies
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Phoebe: Ohh, theyre having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasnt been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
(Ross quickly directs the families to their tables.)
Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
(Charlie and Benji both let their hands slide down Ross's face, until their hands meet, and they hold hands.)
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
(Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel at their table.]
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Rachel: Youre supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
[They rush to put the cream and sugar in their cups and gulp down a few drinks]
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
Monica: People have got to finish their stories!
CHANDLER: [reluctantly sings] You're obviously not their favorite pet.
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont really their permission.
(They both start screaming at the top of their lungs.)
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
Joey: That hot girl from their wedding?
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
[Scene: Jen's apartment, Ross is picking her up for their date.]
(Liam and Devon both take a swig of their beers, while Ross takes a swig of his coffee. The Brits both crush their cans, and not to be out done, Ross crushes his coffee cup, spilling its contents.)
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
(Rachel slowly spins around, finally noticing that the lights have outstayed their welcome.)
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
FBOB: OK, now before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up? [everyone raises their hands] I'm still gonna go.
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
(They want to kiss, but just before their lips touch, Rachel pulls back quickly, gasping)
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Rachel opens their door: Hi.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are returning from their date.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Ginger: Ah well, its nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, Ill see you later. Okay. (She leaves and in the hall we see her shake her shoulders like when someone runs their fingernails across a blackboard.)
(She don't got it as the couch slips out of their grips and falls over the bottom railing.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are holding their boyfriend bonfire.]
Monica: Bye. (They resume their previous positions.)
MONICA: It's for their own good.
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
(They go off to their bedrooms)
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Monica: Good night! (They go into their respective apartments.)
<Everyone is looking around and at Joey with looks of 'what?' on their faces>
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Joey: Heyyy. (They all try and hide their invitations.)
Phoebe: Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha!
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
[they all put up their fists and prepare to fight]
Trudie Styler: Im not giving concert tickets to someone whod use their son like this!
(Back at the couch, Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Rosen have concerns of their own.)
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, lets poke. (they start to advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, were approaching the window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
Monica: Ok who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretention never hurt anyone? (a few raise their hands)
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
Minister: Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife.
<everyone sucks their breath in, in shock>
(Rachel comes out of their bedroom waving tickets)
Rachel: Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's carrying the laundry hamper to their coffee table.]
(They all open their envelopes.)
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
[Scene: The Porsche, cars are whizzing by and honking their horns on both sides very quickly as Ross creeps along.]
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the guys are now trying to figure out what next to do, since their plan with the stripper backfired on them.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them.
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: I-I mean I, well I think I can figure it out. I guess y'know I was born, and everyone started lying their asses off!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are opening their invitations.]
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Mike and Phoebe are walking to their seats.]
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Monica: There. Here's their card.
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Phoebe: All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sorting their CDs.]
Joey: Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Lets hear their plan! Now, whats the future look like for Dina and Bobby?
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Stranger: And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone...
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
(Phoebe approaches as they almost get to their room.)