words in movies
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Rachel (as Monica): You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um... Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, and we'll get you some glasses... okay... (They don't know what to do with their coats and Monica points to the living room) STAT!
(Back at the couch, Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Rosen have concerns of their own.)
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)
Janine: Cant wait! (They each go into their respective apartments.)
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
(They all throw their pieces back as there is a knock on the door.)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
Ross: Uh, yeah, you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th?
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
[Scene: Outside Danny's apartment, Danny and Rachel are returning from their date.]
(Ross quickly directs the families to their tables.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels new apartment, Rachel and Phoebe are making their answering machine message.]
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
(The waitress brings their coffee.)
Joey: Well, Im pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Phoebe: Oh, it's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Joey: Oh. Okay. Ooh! Ooh! Okay, maybe Ill talk about London! Yknow when you two hooked up! Only, only I wont say hooked up. Ill say, "Began their beautiful journey "
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)
Monica and Rachel: (Wistfully, shaking their heads) No.
Rachel: Yes! Great! Give me those cigs! Give it! Give it! (She grabs their cigarettes and lighters and throws them in the trash.)
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
[Russ and Julie look at each other with love in their eyes. The music builds...]
Phoebe: Ok, well, alright, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine, but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll taking? (all raise their hands).
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
Ross: And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development.
Chandler: Okay, but let's do it now though, because Chopper 5 just lost it's feed! (He grabs their bags and sprints out.)
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
(Theyre all staring at him, with big, huge smiles on their faces.)
[Chandler and Joey are watching, Rachel turns their heads away from Monica.]
[Cut to the rest of the gang sitting low on the couch and craning their necks to watch the interview.]
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are trying to find their seats.]
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Rachel: Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? (everyone in the place raises their hand) Oh, look at that.
MONICA: [her and Phoebe tilt their heads] Oh, that's too bad.
Rachel: Yeah. And yknow who shouldve shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over.
Chandler: Can you people not see me?! (He waves his arms around to get their attention.)
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Joey: Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back.
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
Monica: Im the hostess! Not those guys! Im always the hostess! I mean, I was always the hostess, I mean even when I was little, I mean the girls brought their dollies to my tea party, I-I served the best air.
(They've made their way to the statue of the naked man that Chandler was leaning against earlier.)
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
Monica: Come on, no peeking! (They are leading the gang out with there hands over their eyes.)
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are entering and finding their table.]
(They put on their glasses and try to find their way to their seats.)
Monica: Thats because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you dont believe me, please, by my guest.
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Ross: Just some boys gave me their phone numbers.
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
(Monica enters from their bedroom with a calendar.)
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Joey: Uh, de-clawing cats. Hey, tell ya what. Let me walk you home. Well stop by every news stand and burn every copy of their Times and the Post.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Monica admiring their new table.]
[Scene: Macs Office, Mac is talking to C.H.E.E.S.E. about their case.]
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
(The rest of the gang arrives with their heads down in shame.)
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
(They kiss and both put their hands on the others face like Jessica would do.)
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
CHANDLER: Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families.
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
(They do so and they take off their clothes.)
Joey: Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas....
Ross: Okay. (sees two people sitting in their seats.) Uh, huh. Excuse me, Im sorry, I-I think you may be in our seats.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
(again, just before their lips touch, she pulls back, gasping)
RACH: Phoebe, what the hell are you talking about? Other than their names being similar, I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing.