words in movies
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.
Phoebe: What?! No, you cant, you cant leave me here with them! Were baby-sitting!
Phoebe: But you-you cant leave me with them! We-were a team! Were playing a zone! Theyre gonna triple team me!
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
Chandler: Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising.
Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!
Party Guests: (chanting) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (Ross goes to investigate the noise) Howard! Howard! Howard! (They're holding Howard above their heads.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (He sees Phoebe chanting along with them.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!!
Phoebe: I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.
Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Charlie: I'm sorry... (introduces them to each other) Ross Geller... Benjamin Hobart.
Joey: Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You've just got to go up to her and say, 'Rachel, I think that...' (Rachel comes into the room behind them)
PHOEBE: Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.
Ross: Look, look, theres got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I cant imagine, I cant imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
CHANDLER: They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.
Jill: (entering, carrying a bunch of shopping bags) I just had the hardest day. Those bags are so heavy. (Sets them down.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
The Fireman: Please reattach this, its against the law to disconnect them.
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Attendant: (scolding them) N-No running in the chapel!
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Monica: That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldnt have them back unless I gave her the dress!
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
(He shows them a beautiful banner he has made. It reads, "Welcome to the World, Baby Bing.")
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow!
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
Rachel: All right! (Throws them back under the cushion.)
Chandler: (joining them) Hey! Which ones my turkey burger?
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along.
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
Rachel: No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Phoebe: No, no, no, we’re not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity.
Phoebe: Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels.
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Joey: I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!
Phoebe: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. (Joey groans.) Come on Joey! You cant win if you dont ask any (sees that hes asleep) QUESTIONS!!!
CHANDLER: See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine, run like the wind.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Rachel: Huh. Except, Phoebes not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Phoebe: Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Mrs. Geller: So Chandler, youre parents mustve been thrilled when you told them you were engaged.
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's weekend, a hotel clerk is showing them their new room.]
Roy: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time!
Monica: Oh (realizes her pants are undone and zips them up)!
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Phoebe: Umm, this stuffing is amazing. Do you think we should bring them some?
Joey: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
[Scene: continued from earlier, only now Phoebe joins them.]
Joey: Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard!
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)
Monica: You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me okay? Chandler wants me to wear them tonight.
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Rachel: Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine.
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Rachel: (ignoring them) Monica, why? Why would I ever want to take away from your night?
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Chandler: Yeah (motions them to sit and they do) I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor.
Rachel: Well, I was actuallyI-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.
Phoebe: Oh wait, I change my mind! (She slams the door on them.) Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas! (Holds up a cocktail napkin.)
ROSS: Hootie and the--oh my. I, I can catch them on the radio.
Ross: What? No! No! I am not gonna hide it from PhoebeOoh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! (Gets them.)
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Rachel: No, I have two sisters. But one of them has a very masculine energy.
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
Phoebe: Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
Monica: You see, if wed gone around them like I said, weShe wouldve given us those tickets. Damnit!
Monica: Okay, Im never gonna wear them again. I just didnt get a chance to say goodbye.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Rachel: You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. (Goes to unlock the door)
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
{Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to you.}
Ross: (covering with his hand Chandler's face, like pretending he's not there) (to Monica) There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.