words in movies
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
ROSS: I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?
MONICA: They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them.
ROSS: And you had no idea they weren't getting along?
JOEY: They didn't fight a lot?
RACHEL: No! They didn't even talk to each other. God, how was I supposed to know they were having problems?
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
CAROL: My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming.
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
[They dance; Carol looks on lovingly.]
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
(They start kissing again and, when Joey grazes her thigh, she slaps him on his hand again)
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
All: Okayyy! (They do so.)
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Joey: The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright?
Ross: You know sometimes your words... they hurt.
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
Ross: They dont look any bigger than me!
(They all laugh indifferently, except Chandler, whos a little angry.)
Phoebe: (interrupting) Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Chandler: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. (They start kissing.)
(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
(They all groan and hit him..)
Pete: Yeah, stupidly charming isnt it? Well listen lets, you wanna get something to eat? Cause this place is kinda depressing. (they start to leave)
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Joey: Hey! Its my fashion girls! (They dont react.) Whats wrong?
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)
Joey: Yeah? That's so nice! (They hug.)
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
(They hug.)
Hillary: Yes. Theyre insanely white.
Joey: Good night! (they give each other a kiss again, but this time it lasts longer)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are watching a Miracle Wax info-mercial.]
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Rachel: Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting married?
(They hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Chandler: Damn those robots, theyre supposed to be our faithful servants!
(They all leave.)
(They all cross they're arms like the Power Rangers do)
Chandler: Okay. (They kiss again.)
(They all gasp and clutch each other.)
Monica: That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Ross: Theyre not a couple!
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
JULIE: So is there like a story or do they just stard doing it right. . . oh, never mind.
Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed
Chandler: Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us.
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Dr. Roger: They have parasites?
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
(They kiss, finally)
Rita: Oh! (they shake hands)
Barry: Careful! They haven't quite taken yet.
Monica: Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon.
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink)
Rachel: Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine-(turns over the note)-teen blocks. Oh. (They all come out from Monica's bedroom) Oh my God.
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Monica: No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with a little wax.
MONICA: Look. [they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula] Joey, do you know we can see you from here?
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think its kinda weird considering I dont work there anymore.
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast its ridiculous! I mean, theyre gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what theyve done and theyre call the whole thing off. Im telling ya, youre gonna be dancing at my wedding before youre dancing at theres.
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, whats-whats the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.)
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Ross: people (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed up.
Emily: I still cant believe theyre tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building youll ever see. I mean its over (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
(They start dancing and Chandler starts slipping around.)
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Rachel: See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... (he kisses her) and you do that ... (they kiss again)
Joey: (smiling) Oh, they cut me out of the show.
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!
(They kiss.)
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
Janine: Cant wait! (They each go into their respective apartments.)