words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
(they go into Monica and Rachels, and see Phoebe hopping around.)
Phoebe: Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Tag: Okay. (They sit on the step.)
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Ross: Oh its okay. Theyre just-theyre just wrapping her up.
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?
RACHEL: Ahh, so do you, beautiful. [they hug]
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Dave: Yeah, me too. (They reach her door.) So, I guess this is it.
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Phoebe: Well, they fired me and Im having heart attack.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Chandler: Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance
Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.)
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
Chandler: Aww, man! (They go into Monica's room.)
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
Chandler: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)
(They click their glasses and take a sip. That sip turns into a gulp, which quickly progresses into their mutual draining of their glasses at once.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Rachel: Oh, its so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him.
Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.)
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
Monica: What did they do to you?
[Scene: Ross and his date walk into a lobby. They are both wearing their jackets]
(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
(They thread the needle and start poking him, he then stirs.)
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
(They start kissing again and, when Joey grazes her thigh, she slaps him on his hand again)
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
All: Okayyy! (They do so.)
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Joey: The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright?
Ross: You know sometimes your words... they hurt.
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
Ross: They dont look any bigger than me!
(They all laugh indifferently, except Chandler, whos a little angry.)
Phoebe: (interrupting) Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Chandler: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love. (They start kissing.)
(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
(They all groan and hit him..)
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Pete: Yeah, stupidly charming isnt it? Well listen lets, you wanna get something to eat? Cause this place is kinda depressing. (they start to leave)
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)
Joey: Yeah? That's so nice! (They hug.)
Joey: Hey! Its my fashion girls! (They dont react.) Whats wrong?
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
(They hug.)
Hillary: Yes. Theyre insanely white.
Joey: Good night! (they give each other a kiss again, but this time it lasts longer)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are watching a Miracle Wax info-mercial.]
(They all gasp and clutch each other.)
Rachel: Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting married?
(They hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
Chandler: Damn those robots, theyre supposed to be our faithful servants!
(They all leave.)
(They all cross they're arms like the Power Rangers do)
Chandler: Okay. (They kiss again.)
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
Monica: That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay.
JULIE: So is there like a story or do they just stard doing it right. . . oh, never mind.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.