words in movies
Joey: I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering. I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! Is it there? Is it not there?
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
(They get into position to pull the turkey off.)
(They both pull but Joey slips out and starts to fall backwards just as Chandler enters, scaring him.)
Big Nosed Rachel: Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. (Ross is overhearing this.) Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men!
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)
Chandler: Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny."
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
(They enter.)
(They go off to their bedrooms)
RACH: Cats, how long do they live figuring you don't... y'know, throw 'em under a bus or something?
(They kiss again.)
(They hug and then kiss one more time.)
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. They are all sitting around.]
Ross: Hey! (they hug) So, how was Atlantic City?
Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction!
(They run off in search of a bed.)
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.
Chandler: Okay. (They start kissing.)
(They start making out again.)
Chandler: Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Rachel: Well tell us! What are they?
Rachel: All right, well, everybody just remember where they were sitting.
Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.
(They hug.)
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, youve just had your first class!
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! Okay! (They run into the chapel.)
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Joey: No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)
Phoebe: (stops at a door) Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right?
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
(She leaves the room, but Chandler runs after her. They meet in the hallway.)
Monica: I know! (They high-five.)
(They both rejoice; Chandler is totally confused.)
(They all stare, bemused.)
(Chandler and Joey laughs, until they look at each other then recoil in horror.)
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Rachel: Bye honey. (They hug)
Chandler: I know that too. (They kiss)
FBOB: I guess I'm saying, I'll try and quit. I kinda like that you worry about me. [they hug]
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Monica: Yeah, apparently theyre turning it into some kinda coffee place.
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
Chandler: no they don't
(They hug, Scene fades to black)
(They both get out of the chair and run for the VCR.)
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Monica: Good night! (They go into their respective apartments.)
Joey: Heyyy. (They all try and hide their invitations.)
Ross: That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
[they all put up their fists and prepare to fight]
Rachel: Wow! They really got you guys. Your T.V. The chairs.
Monica: Oh... How are they?
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
Monica: (lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)
Ross: Pivot! (They pivot) Pivot! (They pivot) Okay, pivot! Piv-at! (He starts laughing.)
Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
The Stripper: Wow, I didnt know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets.
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
Monica: Yes! Now, theyre a little more than I normally spend on boots or rent (Shows him the receipt.)
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
The Cooking Teacher: Were all beginners here. Nobody knows what theyre doing.
ROSS: (pause) That's okay.� We'll talk about (pause) something else.� (They pause.� They drink.)
Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, lets poke. (they start to advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, were approaching the window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
[Scene: Central Park, Phoebe is now riding her bike with ease and stops in front of Ross. They both giggle.]
CHANDLER: See what I mean . . . (They kiss.)
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
PHOEBE: So?� What if they do?
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Phoebe: No! Look-look! Theres the coffee table they stole from us!
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
(They assume the starting position.)
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Chandler: Eh! (They start making out again)
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
DR. BURKE: Yeah, it sure does. [they hug and it turns into a passionate kiss]
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
(They all open their envelopes.)
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Chandler: Honey I... I love your breasts the way they are!
Monica: Hey, they dont pay me a penny a word to make friends.
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
(Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.)
Mr. Treeger: Well Im gonna have to put on a new lock, theyll find out anyway.
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Phoebe: (catching it) I got it! Mine! (They both hug)