words in movies
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Phoebe: Oh, hi. (They shake hands.)
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
(They all drink.)
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just cant get out of!
Joey: Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! (They give each other fives.)
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Monica: Oh God (Starts looking around.) Why dont they put chairs back here?!
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
(They both take a drink of coffee.)
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Joey: I know! They suck!!
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Yeah absolutely! (They both switch.)
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
(They hug again.)
(They all hug again.)
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
(They run and hug each other.)
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
Monica: If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. Theyve been taping those people up there all day.
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
(They hug)
(They look at each other for a while)
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
Ross: When they see this you'll be 52!
Monica: Okay! (They kiss again and his beeper goes off.) Ohhh no!
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Paolo: Ah, poke (Paolo touches Rachel's nose) a (touches nose again) nose, mmm (they rub noses, then kisses her)
Chandler: (aside, to Ross) What!? They are totally ripping us off!
Chandler: They left.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
[Scene: Barbados, Monica and Chandler's Room. They both enter from Ross's room. Monica still has her big, frizzy hair.]
Ross: Look, they must be stopped!
(They both slowly enter the bedroom and quickly walk back out.)
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
Chandler: (Still looks confused) They loved it.
RACHEL: Hi. [Ross turns to Rachel and they hug]
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
(They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits down without saying hi.)
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Charlie: I love you too! (and they start to kiss)
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
Phoebe: Where is everyone? They�re forty minutes late.
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
(Phoebe approaches as they almost get to their room.)
Ross: Guess where they are?
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
Monica: Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad.
[time lapse – they are still in the hall]
Chandler: Are you serious? (they hug)
Ross: Coffee sounds great. (They get up) Wait, so, so you live in Montreal?
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
(They walk to the kitchen; everyone is lowering their voices)
Phoebe: What? They will be!
JANITOR: Word on the street - well, when I say street, I mean those little pretend streets they have here at the zoo.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's hotel room. They enter.]
Chandler: You know when guys hang out they dont just drink some beer and hammer up drywall?
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
Phoebe: Oh right, like theyre gonna let me have a passport.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Phoebe: They went in together. So sorry.
(They both confer)
The Guys: We will. (they don’t move)
Joey: No theyre not! Theyre ugly and stupid and delicious!
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
Chandler: We're getting the house. (they hug) We're getting the house.
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
Rachel: Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? (They all protest and hit her with cushions) Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's?
[They stop briefly to look at Chandler, but then start fighting again.]
Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
Rachel: I know. But if some guy who looks like Corey Haim wants to kiss me tonight, I'm sooo gonna let them! (They spot Chandler)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joey: I don't think they are.
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Kathy's Co-Star: Oh, yeah! Ooh, thats nice. (They start making out harder.)
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Rachel: Ooh! (they hug)
(They move towards a platform, dancing really strangely as they go)
Ross: Me too. Come here. (They hug)
Ross: Mmm. (They both reach for the last cookie) Oh, no-
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Phoebe: But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Both: (long pause, they realize) Oh yeah!
(They all turn and look away. Suddenly a loud bang sounds out and in slow motion Joey slowly throws his body over Ross. Gary is shocked at what he sees while Chandler is obviously hurt.)
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
(They both look at each other for a while)
Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages! They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Ross: Yeah, yeah! (they hug) You sure this is what you want?
(They all look down the hall he left from.)
Chandler: Mrs. Braverman must be out. (They move closer to it.)
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
Ross: Yeeeah! (They high-five)
Monica: Oh, who cares, they still love me! "I am so excited..."
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?