words in movies
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
(They walk into the living room.)
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Joey: They sent me todays script! They never send the script!
Cecilia: They dont?
Fredrick: Thank you sweetheart. (They clink glasses.)
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
(They kiss and both put their hands on the others face like Jessica would do.)
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!
Chandler: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (Rachel grabs the cheesecake and they take off upstairs.)
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner, Chandler and Monica are greeting guests as they arrive. A woman enters.]
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
Joey: They uh director. Uhh, her. (Points to an old woman standing behind him. Who glares at him and walks off.) All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
Ross: No. They swoop in and steal your jackpot.
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)
Ross: Its possible, they have really sharp edges.
Rachel: The job is in Paris. (they all stare at each other)
Phoebe: Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate...
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Phoebe: Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
Rachel: Are they in love?
[The next one is from Episode 401: The One With The Jellyfish, where Monica, Joey, and Chandler are relating that tragic day they spent on the beach.]
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
Chandler: I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot?
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?
Chandler: They couldnt be worse. I spent eight hours calling him last night, just trying to get him to talk to me.
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
Phoebe: No, you can�t go. No-no-no, I can�t hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Phoebe: Hey! Joey! (They all head over to him, he spots them coming and panics.) Hey! Hey!! Wow! (She hugs him.)
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are entering and theyre arguing.]
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
RACHEL: OK, here we go. Honey, I'm sorry, they were all out of apple pie, someone just got the last piece.
(As they walk out he motions to Chandler that he is still Ben's godfather.)
Joey: Uh, well they might be a little mad at me over there.
Rachel: (sees the chick and the duck) Oh, yeah, Im sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over.
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
(They kiss and everyone applauds.)
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
[They both get up and head for the door. Clunkers whines a little]
Phoebe: Wow! Oh my God, well if theyve ripped off our table ours must be much more than one and fifty dollars!
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
(They walk off into the sunset, at least a picture of one.)
Chandler: Yeah (motions them to sit and they do) I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor.
Joey: (smiling) No, smile! Not that face, smile! Everybody smile! (They all smile.)
Joey: Oh great. (Starts to go in.) (To Chandler) Hey! Go take off those pants, they look ready!
Emily: I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. (Chandler is shocked.) Its a joke. (They all laugh.)
(They all agree and head to Monica's room.)
Chandler: I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...
Chandler: Yes indeedy! (they look outside) With a beautiful view of...
Joey: Good night. (They both enter their rooms.)
Supervisor: Theyre always going to tell you they dont need toner, but thats okay because whatever they say, you can find the answer to it here in this script.
Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.
Mike: Ok... so...(They hug) Goodbye.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Ross: (To Chandler) Yknow what? Actually Im kinda glad theyre leaving cause uh, I need to talk to you about something.
Joey: I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed.
(They both look up, and watch it start to snow. Then they both start fighting for the ball again.)
(They realise that the birds are in the foosball table.)
Phoebe: Not personal, really, well they said that they never met an Italian actor with a worse Italian accent.
Chandler: Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
Monica: Oh, well dont take it to the same place you took the stereo, cause theyve had that thing for over a week.
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
(They wait for Joey to go into his room and close the door and then start making out again.)
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
Mrs. Geller: Well, they don't have to know that... (She starts to fluff the same pillow Monica fluffed multiple times earlier.)
(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are relaxing in sexual bliss.]
Phoebe: Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first youre really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
Estelle: Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle!
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
Rachel: Shh-shh-shh! The guys dont know yet do they?
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Phoebe: No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (Theyre all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.
PHOEBE: Ya-huh, all the time, cause they are the lightning bearers.
Ross: Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Joey: Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right
(They both stare each other down as we hear Lets get ready to r-r-r-rum-ble!!!)
(They separate.)
Phoebe: Well, we don't n-n-n-n-need a fireman, we'd, we'd like a good mechanic. (hears the sound of approaching sirens) Oh my God, here they come! Well, we gotta get out of here!
(They get to the main stage)