words in movies
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Ross: Yeah, they all know.
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
(They start to leave.)
Monica: Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon.
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
The Cooking Teacher: Were all beginners here. Nobody knows what theyre doing.
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
(They enter.)
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Rachel: Well, they said would but they would only give me store credit. I mean, what am I going to do, get a thousand regular cats?
(They move to kiss, but realise that Chandler is staring at them. Chandler urges them on.)
(They hear a knocking sound coming from the hallway and go to investigate.)
Chandler: Yeah, Id love to but Ive tried that so many times they wont even let me in the store anymore.
Rachel: Fine. (They start to walk away.)
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Phoebe: Theyre at the coffeehouse.
Chandler: Happy Anniversary, 10 months! (They kiss.)
(Ross and Rachel approach, theyre still yelling at each other.)
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Rachel: Oh, its the best! (They both exhale contemplating the joys of marriage.) So, umm hows Monica?
Joey: Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Chandler: Oh, good! (They start kissing.)
Joey: (frustrated) Yes, all right? All of her hot dancer friends are gonna be there and theyre gonna be, be drinkin and dancin, and we really wanna go!
Monica: But they like it!
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Chandler: You mean they like you.
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Chandler: Youre welcome. (They kiss.)
Ross: Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done.
Monica: Heres your tea Phoebe. (They give it to her and quickly take a step back.)
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid!
(They all look at the window, grossed out, then flinch in pain.)
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
(They hug and give each other a little peck on the cheek.)
Chandler: Well, I could make it seem like hes here. (Imitates him.) "Heres some little known facts about cous-cous. They didnt add the second cous until 1979." (Mumbles something further.)
Joey: is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Phoebe: I do too. (They kiss.)
All: Okay! Okay! (They start to leave again.)
All: (groaning) Oh no! Oh no! (They all start to get up a leave.)
Rachel: Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now Im not saying that theres any connection here yknow, but they did tell me thats why they got divorced.
Carol: Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.
Monica: Well umm, we were just talking about the yknow, the Swing Kings and just wondering whether yknow, they were the right way to go.
Joey: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Tag: No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk!
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
Tag: A joke they would appreciate?
Tag: How did you know they were in my bottom drawer?
Rachel: Yeah, they said he's gonna be fine, but he's still heavily sedated.
Monica: As much as they love you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, theyre cuddling.]
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Ross: Come on, you know they love you.
Ross: They kept your room for a while.
Phoebe: Oh, anyway, they say, if we want, we can see it tonight.
Chandler: Then it's okay! (They kiss.)
Ross: So they said our table will be ready in just a few minutes.
(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.]
(They enter their apartment.)
Joey: That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
(They all take a bite.)
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Phoebe: Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)
(They confer again.)
Chandler: (quietly) Hi! (They both start kissing.)
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Nina: Maybe. But that doesnt explain why they keep taking my scissors.
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
Chandler: They put you in jail?
Rachel: No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.
Joey: They do!
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach aches. They come and go like every few minutes.
Phoebe: Yeah absolutely! (They both switch.)
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
(They continue their trek.)
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Rachel: Yeah, Im sorry. (They hug.)
Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are having their party. All the guests are stripped down because of the heat.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, theyre brining in yet another woman.]
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
Cecilia: They dont?
Joey: They sent me todays script! They never send the script!
Joey: Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. (they hug)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
JOEY: They didn't fight a lot?
(They all turn and with shocked looks on their faces stare at Ross. Ross is at a loss for words at this moment.)
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
All: Hey! (They all go hug her, except for Ross.)
Monica: Come on, no peeking! (They are leading the gang out with there hands over their eyes.)
Phoebe: Okay bye. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
(Charlie and Benji both let their hands slide down Ross's face, until their hands meet, and they hold hands.)
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.