words in movies
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
Courtney: Thisll be five/ten takes.
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
[When he hears Jennifer try to open the door he jumps back, and Jennifer is unable to open the door this time.]
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
Monica: Are you saying that you dont want to get with this?
Phoebe: Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her?
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Monica: Oh no no no no... this is dangerous territory. Keep it clean!
Monica: So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you
Chandler: Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset?
Trudie Styler: Im not giving concert tickets to someone whod use their son like this!
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."
Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ...
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
FRANK: Yeah, he loved stilts. One time I was upstairs, I was stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse, and uh, all of a sudden I look over and there's my dad's head bobbing past the window. He just had this big smile on his face and he was waving 'cause he was always happiest when he was on his stilts.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santas lap.
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) Did you like her? And Im just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this.
Mr. Zelner: Y'know what? I may regret this but uh, I'm going to give you a shot.
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Phoebe: Oh my god! Shouldn't we stop this?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but shes a tough old bird.
Chandler: This game is kinda fun.
JOEY: (entering) Man, I got this close to him (holds up his fingers) and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on?
Amy starting to cry: You are not going to regret this.
Ross: Hi! Hi, Im uh Ross. Im here to ruin this magical day for you.
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Phoebe: Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma!
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) I-kea! This is comfortable.
Chandler: Ugh, we have already proved that we are hot! Okay? So why-why are you getting so obsessed about this thing?!
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
Monica: This doesn't feel weird!
Rachel: Well, not this second!
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Chandler: (realizing) I have *not* thought this through!
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Erica: Giving you my baby? You think I'd give you my child after this?
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Joey: This is so exciting for her. Well, Ill let you two fash ists get down to business. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Okay, maybe ask this guy.
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Ross: No, its not just cause Im jealous. (Both Monica and Chandler give him a Come on look) I mean Im not, Im not, Im not jealous, okay? Its Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like hes going to throw up!)
Chandler: Oh, well someone left this (shows a green jacket). This is yours?
Dave: Yeah, me too. (They reach her door.) So, I guess this is it.
Monica: You know what? This has been kind of a girlie day. Youre right, Im sorry.
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
CHANDLER: Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap
Joey: All right let's just do this.
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Rachel: Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.
Chandler: Ok. First of all, this is green!
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Ross: Oh, just this woman I�ve been seeing.
Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me.
Monica: Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her?
Michelle: Hey, do you want to go away this weekend?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Joey: Why are they doing this?
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Rachel: Oh Im sorry. I I-I dont meanI didnt mean to stifle you. I This is all just a little overwhelming.
Joey: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
Monica: So, let's do this.
Monica: Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.
Joey: Oh uh, I dont know the boat way to say this, but uh never!
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Rachel: Ohhh well. Yknow what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else. Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! Hes a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Phoebe: Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
CHANDLER: Stop talking, stop talking now. Let me just get this straight. You're actually stealing my hat?
Monica: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? Im just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
Ross: Oh my God! I love this apartment! Isn't it perfect?! I can't believe I never realized how great it is!
Phoebe: Yes, thank you. You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums.
Rachel: Yeah, Why? You don't think a woman can do this?
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I see where this is going, you're gonna ask him to New Year's, aren't you. You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.
Joey: Well, Id like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know youre casting for this new show
Monica: Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? (She hands him some of that Vicks Vap-O-Rub to put on.)
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
Chandler: You believe that this guy is destined for someone else and youre still gonna date him?
Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?