words in movies
Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game?
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
Chandler: Yeah y-you, how hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow something.
Phoebe: Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first youre really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
Joey: Yeah, I mean its never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
Monica: Its never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Phoebe: No, its just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out.
Rachel: Oh, its okay. (starts to leave)
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Chandler: Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window.
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Phoebe: Y'know what, I can stay, Im gonna stay. Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Chandler: Well, then, I might as well offer to stay.
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
Chandler: (to Joey) Well hes probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
[Chandler starts to light a cigarette.]
Chandler: Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom.
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
Joey: Oh, now I have to go!!
[Joey gets out and sprints to the bathroom and Chandler follows with a cigarette in his hands.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Chandler: Damn! (stands up) The tailpipes not hot enough to light this!
Monica: So, if youre parents hadnt got divorced, youd be able to answer a question like a normal person?
Joey: Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra!
[They all run to get in the cab, and Chandler pulls out a smoke.]
Chandler: At least let me smoke it to the good part.
[Phoebe puts the car in gear and starts to back out.]
Phoebe: Okay. (The car moves a few feet and sputters to a stop.) Oh, no!
Rachel: So you know how to fix it?
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebe is on the phone to the motor club.]
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
Joey: Oh yeah, Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (starts to light another cigarette.)
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
[Cut to the rest stop, Monica and Phoebe are waiting anxiously by the phone as it rings.]
[Rachel starts to walk up.]
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Ross: Well, oh, Im sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but Im a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay?
Ross: No, Rachel doesnt want me to....
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Ross: Oh, you-youre-youre one to talk.
Ross: He is saving your butt, ah, unless of course Im stepping on some toes here, in which case I can just mosey on, Ive got plenty of people to help on the Interstate.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
Joey: Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh please, cant I come to your special, magical cabin?
Rachel: Why would you even want to come Ross? Youre a horrible skier.
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?
Rachel: (to Monica) What?!
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
[They stop briefly to look at Chandler, but then start fighting again.]
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
Ross: No, no, really, Ive got to take the car back anyway, Im spending all day tomorrow with Ben, Its fine, no guilt I promise.
Phoebe: Maybe we can like go to a movie or something.
[Ross tries to start the truck, and discovers the batterys dead.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Ross: Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, cause thats not where you want to skimp.
Ross: Yeah, well it came to about $112, but what the hell, just call it an even 110?
Carol: Yeah, okay, bye. (closes the door, turns out the lights, and runs back to the bedroom)
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
RACH: [to Monica] Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighin' me down.
Chandler: Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people.
Chandler: And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. (Does a baseball sign.)
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
RICHARD: If I have to I'll, I'll do all again , I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, I'll coach the soccer team.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Ross: You're my friend. I-I had to tell you.
(Phoebe opens the box, to find something familiar inside.)
Chandler: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Joey: I uh, I just came by because I-I want to talk to you about something.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Rachel: Really?! So this has happened to you?
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
[Cut to Living Room]
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Joey: (To Chandler) You're fake laughing too, right?
Chandler: Okay, look, I'm gonna pull on the door and you guys push as hard as you can. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay? Okay, so PUSH!
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
CUT TO: Monica and Chandler's apartment.
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
Monica: Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?
Janice: Oh boy, I just love to sing!
Monica: I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.
Ross: Oh great. So all I need to do is get some new skin. Thank you.
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Ross: Oh-oh-okay, but-but I know, that even though I've been a-a complete idiot up 'til now, I mean, I mean you-you-you have to come here. You have to come here so we can work this out.
RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Joey: (looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?
Rachel: (moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, Ive been waitin so long to get on that body!
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
Richard: No! I came here to tell you something else. (Pause) I came here (Pause) to tell you I still love you.
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
(They've made their way to the statue of the naked man that Chandler was leaning against earlier.)
Phoebe: (knocking and entering) Hey. Look, I know youve been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
Monica: You-you gotta take it now. Come on, do it as a present to me.
Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Monica: Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you.
The Casting Director: Y'know what? We need to move on.
CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
Joey: Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Ross: To wear in front of people?
Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
MONICA: All right, just trying to start an interesting discussion.
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, its down to me and two other guys.
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
Joey: Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather.
Phoebe: Umm, hes here to have sex with you.
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Joey: How long do you have to go for?
Monica: (Jumping up to make Rachel sit down) Okay, okay. I hate this.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Monica: I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad!
Elizabeth: Ill just run to the store and get some.
Amy: We’re gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on!
Chandler: I want to. I love her so much, but Im afr Its too huge.
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Check it out! Cup hat! (Points to her hat.) Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! (Holds up one.)
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
MONICA: [enters] Honey. Uh, not to sound too Florence Henderson but, dinner's on the table.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Ross: Huh... huh... what a loser! Some more wine? (takes the half-full glasses and goes to the counter)
Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was!
Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.
Janice: You probably want us to move in together?
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
Joey: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom). Soo...
Ross: (shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
Ross: Okay, look, yesterday I would've even considered calling her back, but my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near death experience. I mean, that-that has got to mean something!
Rachel: Shhh don't say that loud, Gunther's gonna want to hug me.
Cliff: Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.
(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)
Monica: Honey! Do you know that none of that stuff came from me?! I mean I never said I wanted to have babies and get married right now!
Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.