words in movies
Monica: (to Joey) Whats so funny?
Gunther: (to Chandler) Oh, no-no, no-no-no, theres none of that in here.
Chandler: No-no, why dont you hang on to that one.
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
Phoebe: All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men.
Ross: Sorry. (To remedy that, Ross scoops the cinnamon off of the top with his hand.)
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Frank: Well, we got into a fight cause ah, she said I was to immature to get married.
Frank: Oh, I knew youd be so cool about this. All right, ah, hey, do you want to meet her?
Frank: Okay, cool, all right, she just ah, parking the truck. (to Joey) Im gonna, Im gonna get my ah, my fianc�e man!
Chandler: Y'know, I wouldve bet good money that hed be the first one of us to get married.
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Joey: Yeah, or-or to get a hooker.
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
Alice: Yeah. Y'know we-we talked about just living together, but um, we want to have kids right away.
Alice: Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter?
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, Chandler is listening to the hypnosis tape.]
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
Monica: (to a customer) Pete, can I get you something else?
Pete: Hmm, come on, you just said to her that you .
Monica: Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Pete: Well, if that were true, Id dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. (to Rachel) Come on, you think she should go out with me, dont you?
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Joey: Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Phoebe: Come on, you guys, you have nothing to lose, I have everything to lose. Do you want me to lose everything? Everything?!
Joey: So, were walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, Hey, lets go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes, remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, Nah, lets just hang out at your place. Well, that was a nice move dumb ass.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Chandler: (to the girls who are staring at him) What?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Frank: Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what Ive got with Alice.
Joey: (to Ross) Why cant I find that?
Joey: Then you hold on to it!!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Youre Franks best man?!
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. Hes just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell hes doing.)
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. Im so glad you could come, cause Ive got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)
Alice: Absolutely. Okay, first well start with a little club soda and salt, and then if that doesnt work we can go back to
Pete: Hang on a second. (to the employees) Ill-Ill talk to you in the morning. (turns two of the three off) Im sorry what?
Monica: Seriously, what is this supposed to mean?
Pete: Well, yknow, I never know how much to tip.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Pete: Come on, you gotta admit that our relationship is ah, is hitting a new level now. Cause you used to be like the chef, and I was the customer, and now were like this-this couple that fights.
Monica: Cause I dont want to encourage this kind of behaviour.
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Frank: Well, you, wait no, my Mother didnt want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch.
Frank: Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought youd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go
Monica: (opening the door) (to Pete) Hey!
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Monica: (in the hallway) So, where do you want to go?
[Cut to a shot of the coliseum in Rome, Italy.]
(He starts to walk to the bathroom and hears the hypnosis tape from Chandlers bedroom.)
Hypnosis Tape: You do not need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. (Joey walks out smiling to himself.)
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Alice: None the less. Umm, youre too young to, to really know what you want. (They embrace in a passionate kiss.)
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, hes listening to the hypnosis tape again.]
Hypnosis Tape: Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke.
Joey: (Hes recorded his voice on the tape) Joeys your best friEnd. You want to make him a cheese sandwich everyday. (he laughs) And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Mr. Treeger:: You want me to kick you guys out instead?
David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didn't even think about it.
[Cut to Emily, Devon, and Liam]
Ross: You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Chip: The movie theatre, you used to come in all the time.
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Joey: Oh, Ive been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Ross: Ive got to talk to her. Ugh, I hate this part.
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Ross: Oh great! (They get up to dance and Ross is interrupted by a little girl.)
Rachel: I mean why, of all people would you want to go out with Chip?!
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Parker: So what do you want me to do, you want me to be more negative, less happy?
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Amy: Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt!
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
Ross: Im going to uh Im going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home.
RACHEL: (lowers voice to imitate Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat.)� "Me too."
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
ROSS: Wha--? Whoa, hey, I don't want my birthday to be the source of any kind of negative--there's gonna be a hoopla?
Joey: (goes over to Chandler) Hey buddy! Hows it going?
Dr. Green: Youre still going to that chiropractor, that man couldnt get into medical school in Extapa!
Ross: Oh umm, well uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, Im about to dance with this lady.
Monica: I'm still not done not wanting to talk to you.
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Monica: Two in a row! Youve got to use your tongues now! (They kiss again.)
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Chandler has a jug of milk in his hands and decides to make some warm milk. He opens up the cabinet to get a pot and manages to knock several other pots onto the floor making a lot of noise.]
Chandler: Well, thanks a lot for hookin me up Rach. I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest.
Chandler: So what are you going to do?
Phoebe: Yeah, well, dont Aww Pheebs, that sucks! me yet. (she starts to leave)
Ross: I could ask her to live with me!
[Rachel runs to the sink to spit it out.]
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Monica: (to Chandler) Take me home! (they quickly leave)
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
MONICA: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
Ross: Yeah, no, youre right, I know, youre right, Im not, Im not gonna do it. All right, thanks guys. (Gets up to leave.)
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See?
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you!
Ross: What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?
Phoebe: I dont ever want to see you again!
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Joey: I dont want to move again!
Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around.
Ticket Counter Attendant: One ticket to Yemen?
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Chandler: (to Monica) Take off your shirt!
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Chandler: Id like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please.
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Ross: All right, I just wanted to check.
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Chandler: [to Kathy] Goodnight.
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
Monica: (to Julie) It's an expression.
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
Rachel: I It justit took me so long to get that desk organized.
Joey: (gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)