words in movies
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Chandler: Were going to Everest! Okay, it would be nice to leave an ass print on Everest!
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
(A woman enters wearing a wet wedding dress and frantically starts to look around.)
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
[cut to later]
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
(They go to hug but Ross' umbrella opens. He sits, defeated again.)
[cut to later]
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
[cut to later]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
Ross: Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Rachel: All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Ross: You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me.
Rachel: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
[cut to later]
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
[cut to later]
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
[cut to later]
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Living Room]
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Living Room]
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
[Cut back to the present.]
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
[Cut back to the present, Ross is still looking at Rachel's invitation. Finally, he makes up his mind and mails it.]
Joey: (taking apart the invitation) Hey, pretty smart! Tissue paper! Youre at the wedding, you have to cry, "Handkerchief?" "No-no, I got my invitation."
Phoebe: Hey! Hey, did you get your invitation to Rosss wedding?
Joey: Dont worry man, I get to bring a guest. Well show him.
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
[Scene: The airport, Ross is about to walk off of the plane with Julie.]
[cut to later]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is introducing Julie to the gang.]
[cut to later]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to hang up on Julie.]
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
[cut to later]
[cut to later in the same scene]
Ross: OK, I need to lie down.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
[Scene: The Auditorium, Ross and Rachel are about to... you know.]
Ross: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.
(They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to prevent Gunther from spilling the beans.]
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Gunther: Im sorry. Was I not supposed to?
[cut to later]
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
[cut to later]
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
[cut back to the present.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is deciding on whether or not to go to the wedding.]
[cut to another clip, this one is from The One With The Prom Video]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
Ross: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
[cut to later]
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
[cut to later]
Rachel: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
[cut to later]
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
[Cut back to the present, Rachel has made her decision.]
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
Rachel: I know. (Starts to cry) Yeah, see, theres so much to do and I have so little time to do it in.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
(Chandler motions to Monica that hell give her two babies.)
[Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.]
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same night. There is a knock on the door and Chandler answers it to reveal Emily standing behind it.]
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Charlie: And first, I have to see the MET!
Chandler: (angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters)
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Joey: Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! (Sits down.)
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Rachel: Wow, oh my God, our child will be beaten to death in the schoolyard.
Monica: I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?
Ross: (on the machine) Hey Ross! It's you! I just want you to remember this feeling. You are lucky to be alive! So live everyday to the fullest. Love yourself, okay? Okay. Oh, and also get stamps. Bye! (He hangs up.)
Tall Guy: Shes nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this!
Phoebe: Yeah, but you shouldnt compare yourself to me.
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Rachel: You had no right coming down to my office Ross. You do not bring a picnic basket to somebodys work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger!
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Chandler: Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, its gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow Im conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free.
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Chandler: We should start with the big stuff. Yknow? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. (He picks up one end and Ross doesn't help) I got it. (He moves it back to where he thinks it goes.)
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
Ross: Oh, I.. I don't know. We didn't really get to talk.
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Woman: (To Joey) Is this yours?
Rachel: No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Rachel: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Monica: Lets take a walk. (They start to leave.) Yknow maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)
Ross: Tsz... NO! (he goes to sit down, dropping a multicoloured silk streamer off his sleeve).
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Ross: (to Tag) Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.
Tag: (handing his to her) This ones from me.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Phoebe: (trying to hold back the struggling cat) He seems to hate you. Are you sure?
Monica: What happened to your teeth.
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Joey: The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be!
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Chandler: (To Monica) How are you feeling?
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Cecilia: Id love to, but my lawyer said I cant do that anymore.
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I�m ovulating, and when we don�t do it now, we�ll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
(Joey starts to walk away, but stops.)
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!
Phoebe: Hey! So Chandler, wanna go to the coffeehouse?
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
Phoebe: (quietly) Sells drugs to kids.
STEVE: You used to be my babysitter.
Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandros came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!
Amy: Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life.
Chandler: (starts to laugh, but then gets serious) So umm, you-you flirt with guys all the time?
(They putting their notepads down and get up to leave.)
Phoebe: Okay, what about you? (Points to Karin) Wouldnt you want a date?
The Wedding Guest: Oh, I used to work with Frannie.
[Time lapse, Monica is going over to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Shes not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Monica: Wait, were supposed to organize the wrapping paper drawer.
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
Ross: (showing the Playboy magazine to Gunther) Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Monica: Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. (Quietly) You can go.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Phoebe: Hey! You guys, Im writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it?
Monica: Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?
Cecilia: Well, its nice to know that you
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)