words in movies
Ross: Well, I don't know, it's-it's kinda in a place that's not... It's not visually accessible to me, and I was hoping maybe you guys could-could help me out. (starts to take off his pants)
Ross: Well what is it? Is it a mole? (He moves closer to them, and they jump back.)
Joey: No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Joey: (going over to him) Well?!
Ross: Well, he said there's definitely nothing to worry about, it's totally benign.
Ross: He couldn't even tell me! He said it was just some sort of skin... abnormality. And the worst thing is he-he-he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
[cut to Phoebe and Rachel as Monica returns from the bathroom]
Monica: I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk.
Monica: Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad.
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Dr. Rhodes: Take your shirt off, and let's see what we're dealing with here. (Ross starts to take off his pants) What are you doing?
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Monica: (starting to get up) I gotta go water Pete's plants. (stops) Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field?
[Scene: Dr. Rhodes's Office, a rather large group of doctors has now gathered to take a look at Ross's thing. Ross is none too pleased with the developments, he has a disgusted look on his face.]
All: Whoa. (they all lean in to get a closer look, Ross isn't pleased)
[Scene: Pete's apartment, Monica is there to water the plants, and is showing the gang around.]
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
Monica: No-no-no, that's a video-phone. But hey guys you're not supposed to be here, so please, do not touch anything.
Phoebe: No! But it's the nicest kitchen, the refrigerator told me to have a great day.
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
Pete: Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. Hold on a second, I have another call. (clicks his remote) (to his other call) Hey, how's it going?
Pete: Ah, no it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. (to other caller) Yeah. (listens) Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. (pause) Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back.
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Chandler: Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? Hes not like other people, on your first date he took you to Rome. For most guys thats like a third or fourth date kinda thing.
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
[Scene: A Fire House, Phoebe has gone to break up with Vince.]
Vince: No-no its okay. Its just that ah, I thought we had something pretty special here. And y'know I-I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to, and (starts choking up) That theres so much in me I have to share with you yet.
Vince: (starting to cry) Im sorry, I cant talk. Im gonna go write in my journal. (walks away)
Phoebe: (to Ross) Im telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.
Ross: Thank you, but I want to remove it Pheebs. I dont want to make it savory.
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Rachel: Oh my God. (starting to cry)
Phoebe: Yeah, well hed prefer water colors, but y'know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal.
Monica: So then, are you going to dump Jason?
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but now sos Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on the Vince side) So Its really just about the math.
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Ross: Listen, I got to tell you Ive-Ive never been to a guru before, so...
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Guru Saj: Oh sure, we should see resultsWhoa!! Clearly not the way to go!! (quickly wipes it off)
Guru Saj: We appear to have angered it.
Guru Saj: Oh, I think I see the problem. And Im afraid were gonna have to use a much stronger tool. (Ross gives him a What? look) Love.
Guru Saj: (He starts moving his hands around in circles above the thing.) Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to
Pete: So ah, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about.
Pete: Its time for me to conquer the physical world.
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Jason: (going up to her) Hey. I was
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, Ive-Ive been dating both of you, and its been really horrible. Cause y'know its been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didnt know how to chose, so... Im sorry, Im just, Im terrible, Im a terrible person. Im terrible.
Phoebe: Well, this is none of my business. (starts to walk away)
Jason: (to Phoebe) I-I cant believe this! You-youve slept with him?!
Phoebe: (to Vince) Well, that couldve been really awkward.
[Scene: Guru Sajs office: Joey and Chandler have taken the duck to see the guru.]
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Guru Saj: Hmm, let me see. Let me see. Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
[Cut back to the present day.]
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Rachel: This is easy...Can't do this! (Moves away...and finds her sweater sleeve stuck to the drawer) Oh! Wow! Seriously I can't do this. (Fiddles more)
Joey: Then you hold on to it!!
[Cut to inside.]
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Joey: Really? To what?
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. I guess we have to eat.
Chandler: Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.
RACHEL: Afraid to ask him?
Chandler: (to Nancy) Okay, thanks... (to Monica) They passed. They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price.
Rachel: What?! She made the tea! (Points to Monica.)
Rachel: No? (He shakes his head) All right, here's the truth um, Joey said what he said, because um, I'm attracted to you.
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.]
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too.
Rachel: So you know, I I handed in that marketing report and I never got to hear what you thought.
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Phoebe: Im a lady Monica, I dont kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.)
Rachel: Oh Im sorry mummys so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
PHOEBE: We just have to really, really, really, not let stuff like money get--is that a hickey?
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Ross: (to the second girl) That was very nice Ashley.
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.
Monica: Score!! 7 to nothing!
Phoebe: Oh, my new Mom, who-whos a big, fat abandoner! (starts to go upstairs)
(Rachel opens the curtains and sees Charlie coming out from the dressing room just next to theirs)
Another Scientist: And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die.
Emily: I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen.
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Phoebe: What?! What do you mean youre going to London?
Chandler: Oh, dont worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody.
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Rachel: (to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)
(They start to kiss, then Rick stops suddenly.)
Elizabeth: Yeah, Ive been coming here since I was a kid. This used to be my Grandmas.
ROSS: Well, OK, I uh, I have to. I can't deal with this right now. I mean, I've uh, y'know, I've got a cab, I've got a girlfriend, I'm... I'm gonna go get a cat.
Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary!
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Mrs. Waltham: Lovely to meet you.
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Rachel: Whoa, that Diet Coke just went straight to my head! Woo!
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Ross: I-I had to show Chandler something?
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Monica: Rachel, its going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: He had to go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous!
Rachel: Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night.
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
Kathy: (going over to the box) Chandler?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, heres a thought.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Yes were all in here and we would love for you to join us!
[cut back to Chandler and Joeys.]
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Chandler: See? Now, thats why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.
Ross: Im getting married, to..day!!
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Ross: Exactly. So you didnt, didnt mention anything to Issac right?
Molly: No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?
Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?
Erica: Thank you. It's really nice to meet you guys, I can't believe I'm here!
Rachel: But he has to know how I feel!
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
(I think one of the grips walk up to Joey, mainly because there's a credit for The Grip. What the heck is a grip anyway?!)
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.