words in movies
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
(Monicas entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Give me it!
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Were practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.)
Chandler: (glaring at her) Well, Monica and Chandler cant go. Were going to dinner remember?!
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Rachel: Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight?
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Chandler: Wait a minute, all jokes aside? I didnt agree to that!
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Joey: Its the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck!
Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket. (Pats his pocket. Phoebe smiles, goes over to hug him, and removes the ring from his pocket.) Pheebs?
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here!
Chandler: (To Monica) You are beautiful.
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you Rachel.
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris.
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! Thats what I did to the kids in my building!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
Ross: No! Okay! Okay! (Stops her.) Okay, look, can I, can I just-just talk to you for a second?
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300.
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you shouldve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
Monica: Hey, its good to see you!
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Matire'd: (to Richard) Youre tables ready sir.
Richard: Oh. Good to see you guys.
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
Rachel: Phoebe, dont you think youve had enough to drink?
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Mr. Thompson: Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center.
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
Joey: So uh listen, I think Im gonna take off now. (Starts to get up.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
Richard: Its so great seeing you guys again. Id like to make a toast. (Everyone raises their glasses) Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Ross: Ive got to talk to her. Ugh, I hate this part.
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Rachel: (To Joey) Okay. Okay. (Shushes him.)
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Rachel: (To Joey) What?! What?!
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Monica: Why do you want to see my hand?
(Chandler puts his face in his hands as Joey and Phoebe start to examine the trash.)
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Chandler: This is terrible. What am I going to do?
Monica: (entering) I had to go all the way to the basement because some idiot keeps stuffing the trash chute with pizza boxes!
Rachel: (entering) Hey! (Sees Monica, gasps, and runs over to her.) Oh my God youre here, let me see your hand!!
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
Chandler: Oh, just hanging out, talkin about uh, websites. (Joey laughs.) Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Chandler: Yeah, well Yknow, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever want to get married huh?
Monica: Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world!
Monica: Okay well thats good to know.
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
Monica: Sure, I love this part! (Starts to look busy.)
Waitress: (to the customer) Come on in.
(The customer turns out to be )
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Monica: Oh, good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Richard: No! I came here to tell you something else. (Pause) I came here (Pause) to tell you I still love you.
Monica: Yknow youre really not supposed to be back here!
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Richard: Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Yknow after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head!
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Monica: Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married?
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Monica: Its not like I want to get married tomorrow! Its just that I-Id like to believe that Im in a relationship thats actually going somewhere, that Im not just wasting my time!
Joey: Chandler is a complex fellow, one who is unlikely to take a wife.
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
Monica: You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that hes a-a complex fellow whos unlikely to take a wife! That-that hes against marriage and always will be!
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
Ross: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought wed be able to make it work, but uh, I guess it just wasnt meant to be.
Ross: Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup.
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is entering to find Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, on the phone.]
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, Ive been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these (lifts a leg) damn boat shoes wouldnt keep flying off!
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
Chandler: Okay. (Starts running for the bedroom) Im gonna get the ring! Im gonna get the ring! (Does so) Im gonna go find her and (starts running for the door) Im just going to propose!
[Scene: Richards Apartment, hes smoking a cigar and reading a book as there is a knock on the door. He gets up and opens the door to reveal ]
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
Monica: (moving over to the couch) Still smoking cigars?
Monica: But getting over was the hardest thing that Ive ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Joey: This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel!
Ross: Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Monica: (to the mask) I missed you-you ugly, flat faced old freak!
Richard: Yeah! Youre saying, you need to be with someone more mature. Maybe someone with, a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache.
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
Monica: Yknow, I-I I have to figure some stYknow, some stuff before I can
Richard: Well she said she had to think things over.
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Richard: Well, apparently Im willing to offer her things that you are not.
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Chandler: I cant talk to you now, I gotta find Monica!
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: I knew you were likely to take a wife!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Ross: Here (gets behind her to help. When the coat comes off we see she is wearing the exact same shirt Ross is wearing. They look at each other, shocked. They abruptly put their coat back on) So this was fun! (They leave the room and head into opposite directions)
Joey: Oh wellHey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Yknow? Itll-itll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. Youre so talented.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.
Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.
Phoebe: Really? Not even to, um, change his PAJAMAS?! (Whips back the sheet to reveal him wearing new pajamas.)
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.
Phoebe: Because at that time you see, I thought everything that rhymed was true. So I thought yknow that if Id work with stocks, Id have to live in a box, and only eat lox, and have a pet fox.
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
PRODUCER: OK Phoebe, you ready to try one?
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
RACHEL: Aaah.� (She goes to tend Emma.)
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Gene: Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand!
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Pheebs, youve been up for 24 hours! Go to sleep, honey. Th-this isnt healthy.
Rachel: Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! Youre my hero!
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Rachel: (to Joanne) So what's going on with you?
Phoebe: Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we wont be partners. So whats it gonna be?
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
[Cut to Monica and Rachel at their table.]
(Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while)
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
(She serves to Doug who returns it to Chandler. As it bounces over his head Chandler swings and misses.)
(Phoebe turns to leave but notices an attractive man.)
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
Janine: Well, I don't think there is anything to do. I mean I think you're really sweet, but I'm just not interested in you like that.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still talking to Earl.]
Rachel: Oh my God! You got her to stop crying!
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
[Time lapse, Ross is drinking something and decides to get Rachel again.]
Chandler: Look, you dont have to draw an actual wowhoa! Shes hot!
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Rachel: (Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
Monica: (going over to him) Im so sorry. Please, stop freaking out.
Rachel: Yeah, I didnt want you to get hit by the boom!
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Monica: Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like youve never sucked before!
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Phoebe: Am I? Really? Am I? Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner and prove me wrong! Well, think about it, think about it, you'll be trying to top than you did last year. You'd be in competition... with yourself.
DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in.
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Mr. Kaplan: Ill bet your thinking, Whats an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee? Eh?
Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Monica: (to Joey) OK, try this salmon mousse.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?
Joey: Oh, ahh, go to the window. Im wanna run down to the truck and show you something.
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Rachel: (to Ross) Yeah, right. Look at you, youre practically giddy.
Karin: I am so attracted to him right now.
Dr. Stryker Remoray: Good morning. (He walks over to the bed, leans down, and whispers to him.) Drake, its your brother Stryker. Can you hear me?
[Scene: A Theatre, Chandler and Ross are there to watch the premiere of Kathys play.]
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One Where The Monkey Gets Away, Rachel is watching a soap opera with Marcel.]
Joey: Or! You can just, yknow (He walks up close to whisper in Rosss ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Chandler: Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? Hes not like other people, on your first date he took you to Rome. For most guys thats like a third or fourth date kinda thing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
(Phoebe and Ross go to look for Chandler and Rachel enters Monica and Chandlers.)
Chandler: Okay, okay, so we get to take that stupid troll thing home!
Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)
RICHARD: Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
Ross: No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him.