words in movies
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
MONICA: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
MR. HECKLES: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
MR. TREEGER: There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you.
MR. BOYLE: All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine".
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
PHOEBE: Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
JOEY: I don't know, I'm just tryin' to help you out.
JOEY: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
CHANDLER: Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody.
JANICE: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun.
MONICA: Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?
RACHEL: Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps.
PHOEBE: You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
MONICA: You have got to get over this. You're not gonna end up alone.
CHANDLER: Of course I am. I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there.
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
CHANDLER: Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
Phoebe: IWe gotta get Monica. (She starts to leave.)
MONICA: Stop sending food to our apartment.
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
Chandler: He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps.
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)
Phoebe: (picking up her bag) All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is a beeping noise coming from the living room and Phoebe sleepily goes to investigate.]
MONICA: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too.
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to?
Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.
Rachel: Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why?
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Monica: (To Ross) Cassie needs to stay at your place.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Chandler: This is terrible. What am I going to do?
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
(They look at each other. We switch back to Monica. Chandler opens the door and she turns to look at him.)
(Rachel starts to laugh, and Ross notices her.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
Monica: Used to work with her. Used to! Im a relative and I didnt get invited! A blood relative! Blood!!
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Ross: (To Monica) Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! Its not like I choose to do it! Its not likeIts not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!"
Jill: You dont want him, but you dont want me to have him?
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
Joey: I dont know how to play Cups.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
[Cut to the Men's room. Chandler is practicing flashing his badge as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You dont hire an assistant because theyre cute, you hire them because theyre qualified.
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Emily: I realize that people are going to be disappointed. But, Im sure theyll come back when we can do it right.
Monica: No, a guy would be saying, "Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else." Oh my God! Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! Ive been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that Id be giving up! I mean, I Im never gonna have a first kiss again.
CHANDLER: Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.
Ross: Well, oh, Im sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but Im a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay?
Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...
Chandler: I mean, You wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that.
Phoebe: Yeah. Sorry. (she starts to leave)
Joey: I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. I think what you have to do is try not to...
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Ross: (to himself) Not nice enough.
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Guru Saj: Hmm, let me see. Let me see. Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
Luisa: Ah, it's not so much you, you were fat, you had your own problems. (To Rachel) But you? What a bitch!
Ross: (on the phone) Hello? (Listens.) No she cant come to the phone right now. (Listens.) Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. (Hangs up.)
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
Monica: He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, "The Sound."
Phoebe: Oh, okay, yeah. (to Monica) I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room.
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
Charlton Heston: Hello! Whos in there? (He opens to curtain to reveal a naked and wet Joey.)
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
[cut to Monica and Rachels.]
Monica: Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later.
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Gunther: (to Monica and Phoebe) Hey guys.
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Phoebe: (simultaneous to the others) Ble-blah-blar Blargh!
[cut to the girls huddle]
Rachel: To be nice.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Ross: Phoebe, you cant get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike!
Phoebe: Wow. Okay, I dont know how to talk to you.
(Cut to Chandler)
Joey: Weve got a box. (Motions to a large wooden box next to him.)
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
(Cut to Ross and Monica)
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Monica: Well I didnt want everyone to think I was stupid.
Katie: Hey, where are we going to lunch?
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (He sits down next to her.)
INTERCOM: Dr. Remore, report to first floor emergency, stat.
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
Chandler: Well, listen, don't tell us what's gonna happen though, 'cause I like to be surprised.
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Ross is returning to find another couple has taken the place of Marc and Julie.]
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs