words in movies
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
MONICA: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
MR. HECKLES: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
MR. TREEGER: There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you.
MR. BOYLE: All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine".
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
PHOEBE: Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
JOEY: I don't know, I'm just tryin' to help you out.
JOEY: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
CHANDLER: Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody.
JANICE: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun.
MONICA: Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?
RACHEL: Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps.
PHOEBE: You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
MONICA: You have got to get over this. You're not gonna end up alone.
CHANDLER: Of course I am. I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there.
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
CHANDLER: Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.
Phoebe: Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party.
RACHEL: Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer.
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
[cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing]
(Chandler jumps into the canoe and sits down. The chick starts chirping and Chandler reaches down to pick him up.)
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Phoebe: (To Monica) Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
Hombre Man: (To Joey) You were saying?
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
Monica: Whats hard to believe?
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)
Joey: How you got three women to marry you, Ill never know.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Phoebe: (stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and Im nervous cause Ive never done that before by myself!
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Rachel turns to Ross: Oh whose side are you on? <back to Amy> I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child.
[knock at the door, Monica answers to see Mrs. Greene]
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
[They all run to get in the cab, and Chandler pulls out a smoke.]
Frank: Well, you see, the-the thing is, we-we only got, we kinda have one shot to make it right.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)
Phoebe: I have to tie my shoe, so you go ahead, I'll catch up.
Rachel: Well, alright, then, forget it. (Getting up to go) Might as well just go home. Ow ow ow ow!
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
Rachel: Yes I did! And I put a little Post-It on it that said, "Must go out today," and underlined today three times and, and then I put a little heart in the corner because I didnt want to seem to bossy.
Phoebe: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
Dr. Franzblau: No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me.
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!
Monica: No! But I know exactly what Im going to say.
Joey: Sure, its hard to forget! But that doesnt mean you have to talk about it! A lot of things happened on that trip that we should never, (to Chandler) ever talk about.
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.
Ross: I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
Monica: What?! Are you kidding me?! You-you-you think were ready to have a baby now?!
RACH: [to Ross] Hey, you.
Monica: We are not going to whistle.
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Dan: Sure! I'll get somebody to cover my shift.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
MONICA: Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered.
SUSIE: I can't do Chris's makeup. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche.
Alice: Yeah. Y'know we-we talked about just living together, but um, we want to have kids right away.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Bill: I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us.
Monica: (grabbing the gift from him and opening it) Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas!
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
Rachel: Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)
Rachel: Yknow what? I am going to do something today. Im not just gonna sit around like some old lady. Im gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
Ross: Fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yoghurt, or something.. (opens the door)
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
[Rachel leaves to the balcony.]
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
(He moves to kiss her, but stops when he hears the duck.)
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
CHANDLER: Why, it's six tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish! The Blowfish!
(Ross walks to the back of the plane, where Rachel is.)
MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.
Ross: (to Rachel) Okay, thats it, I cant take it anymore.
Ross: Hey! Hey! If he's moving, maybe I should try to get his place!
(Chandler tries to save face and makes the 'OK' sign with his hands, while obviously unable to breathe.)
Rachel: Yeah, when were in the audience he doesnt talk to us, but he does wave.
Chandler: Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Chandler: You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go.
Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey).
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
The Interviewer: So, according to your bio, youve done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives. Anything youre particularly proud of?
ROSS: Julie. Julie. That. Oh God. Julie, right. OK, I need to lie down. No, ya know, I'm gonna stand. I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna walk, I'm walkin' and I am standing. OK so you uh, and now wha... and now, now, now you're over me?
Joey: Well, we can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The Vasdeferens? The Vietnam War?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Chandler: No. All right, yknow what, shes (Points to Janice) gonna think that Im handing you a credit card, but what Im really gonna do is hand you a library card.
(She whips back the curtain to reveal Joey's dad)
Joey: (to his team) All right, huddle up, right over here.
Melissa: Im sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.
Phoebe: Be cool! (They both pretend to have a nice conversation as the guard walks by, but after he leaves they both start fighting again.) Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Joshua: and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me!