words in movies
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
Monica: I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.
Ross: Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?
Rachel: Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...
Rachel: Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...
Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
Rachel: Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!
Monica: Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?
Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!
Barry: (into intercom) Thanks, Bernice. (To Rachel) Let's go away this weekend.
Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
Barry: All right Miss Green, everything looks fine... Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here.
Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
Ross: (leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay?
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Rachel: Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... (Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Rachel: Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
Chandler: Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?
Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
Monica: Don't you have to pee?
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?
Rachel: Ohhhh!! (Mindy starts to sob.) ...What? What?
Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.
Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.
Mindy: I know. I know, and when he proposed to me, everyone said "Don't do it, he's just gonna do to you what he did to Rachel," and now I feel so stupid.
Rachel: (offers her arm to Mindy and she sniffs) Smell familiar?
Joey: I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, is Sidney there? (Listens) Oh, this is? (To the gang) Sidney's a woman.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Monica: (waves dismissively to Sidney) Nooo!
Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.
Mindy: Basically, we think you're a horrible human being, and bad things should happen to you.
Rachel: Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?
Barry: (to Mindy) I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.
Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?
Barry: (to Mindy) Sweetheart, just gimme- gimme another chance, okay, we'll start all over again. We'll go back to Aruba.
Barry: Oh God... (Into intercom) I'll be right there, Bernice. (to Mindy) Look, please, please don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be, I'll be right back.
Mindy: I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...?
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
[they all jump in the street and prepare to fight]
(Larry goes to leave but heads the wrong way and makes a quick sidestep to go out the right door.)
Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.
Phoebe: Good to see you.
Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
Phoebe: Oh, I got tired of naming states. So I decided to list the types of celery, and I have one: regular celery.
Frank Jr.: Good to see you, too.
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, Im, Im sorry. (walks away)
(Charlie walks up to them.)
Alice: Umm, actually, I came down to ask you a big favour.
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
(They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.)
Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
(Chandler tries to come up with a good answer.)
Hotel Clerk: I think you'll find this room more to your liking.
(He runs off to the kitchen.)
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Chandler: We have to leave!!
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
(He goes back to the kitchen.)
[Cut to Joey and Monica.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Why...why?
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)
Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. Youve got to spread it out a little, you know. Havent you ever been unemployed?
Male Guest: (to the Maitre d') Good evening. (Shakes his hand)
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
Rachel: I was just going to say that I left my keys.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?
Joey: Ah. Hm. (To Kathy) Wanna go to bed?
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Joey: ...No... (he just can't seem to grasp it)
Phoebe: All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys?
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, Im not fine, Im not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if were friends who dont see other people?
Chandler: (to Monica) No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.
Ticket Counter Attendant: Ah, sir a ticket to Yemen is $2,100 and we dont take library cards.
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Phoebe: Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music. Come on!
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
David: Right... Goodbye Phoebe. (Makes a move to kiss her.)
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Rachel: Yes oh(To Ben)Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey!
Chandler: (to Amanda) I get pedicures!
Monica: I have nothing to say to you.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
(Ross grabs his things and runs to the door only to be blocked by his exiting students.)
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
(He turns around frantically from side to side.)
Chandler: Well, yknow, youre-youre gonna meet somebody! Youre a great catch! Yknow when I was telling all those guys about you, I didnt have to lie once. (He sits down on the arm of her chair)
Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?
Monica: That�s right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Joey: Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know?
Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?
Joey: And starting to think about settling down!
Chandler: So? Would you care to join me in our first dance as husband and wife?
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
Phoebe: Hey you guys wait! Guys! (Catches up to them.) This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Rachel: You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)
Elizabeth: Oops! I did not mean to run into you like that sir.
Rachel: (gasps) I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help.
Phoebe: Okay, well if I was in this for the money, Id be a millionaire by now, y'know. You just got to get out of that jingle head sweetie.
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
[Scene: Later on in the hallway between the apartments. Chandler is showing people to the parties.]
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Chandler: To be fair this one does have nuts.
Joey: I'd love to! Yeah! Joey: (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents?
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Rachel: Well, I would like to have the option!!
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)