words in movies
Rachel: Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.
Ross: No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so...
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
(Monica strides over to Ross, who is making coffee, and talks to him aside.)
Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover.
[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.]
(Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross and Monica in Nana's room.)
(He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in disbelief. Monica runs out of the room.)
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.]
Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.
Chandler: No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him.
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
Monica: Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did you know my ears are not my best feature?
Joey: (entering with Chandler) Morning. We ready to go?
Mrs. Geller: It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream.
(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Ross: (hugs him) And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me.
Andrea: (turns to a friend) You were right. (They walk off and leave Chandler.)
(Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.)
Joey: Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third.
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this.
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.
Chandler: Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.
Rachel: Yeah, it couldnt hurt to look.
[Cut to Joey going over to talk to Dennis Phillips.]
Monica: You have to tell David!
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Were you there?
Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags!
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Rachel: (she's got that "yeah, try to say it" look on her face) Yes?
-Cut to Rachel (Phone ringing)
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Chandler: Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset?
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
Joey: Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.
Trudie Styler: Im not giving concert tickets to someone whod use their son like this!
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Rachel: I dont know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer, y'know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just dont want to be 30 and still work here.
Lauren: (to Joey) Hey! So since were getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs?
(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. Hes just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell hes doing.)
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
Chandler: The actor playing Mac couldnt do it, they needed to see you at 2 oclock.
RACHEL: Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time.
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Joey: That's like a woman wanting to be a...
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts.
Joey: Not knowing when to shut up...
David: Oh, you're going to Minsk?
Rachel: (with the sticks in her hands) Um... (She goes to the tarantula-cage and puts the sticks into it) Done!
Rachel: Argh! Why does everything happen to me?!
Chandler: You said that to me last week.
Phoebe: Ohhh. (Hands her back to Rachel.)
Back to Monica and Chandler's apartment.
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And Im okay with that.
Dedicated to the great work of Eric Aasen, Guineapig and many, many more.
Joey: Hey uh, is it okay to come in?
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
Phoebe: No. Im just, I wanna, I need to be alone.
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santas lap.
Mr. Zelner: Y'know what? I may regret this but uh, I'm going to give you a shot.
Amy: Do you want to know why you don't want me to have the baby?
Amy: No! What are you going to do? Make me?
Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. <to Rachel> It was your fat friends brother with that bad afro, do you remember?
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Ross: (To Mona) But I didnt want to.
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
JOEY: Okay, what have we always wanted to do together?
Ross: Hi! Hi, Im uh Ross. Im here to ruin this magical day for you.
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
Chandler: You know, it's... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Joey: 18, uh? (starts to prepare himself to say his "How You Doin'" line) Ross: Joey, NO!
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
[Cut to an outside shot of the museum.]
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
RACHEL: Okay.� You too.� And I hope you score.� (to Mike) Bye.
Mona: Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now youre-youre sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
MONICA: So, you lied to him?
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.
Gary: I don't know man, we're really not supposed to do that.
MONICA: You might want to keep practicing.
Ross: Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff?
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Rachel: He even offered to meet me for lunch tomorrow to prep me for it.
Chandler: Eldad, sit down. (To Rachel) Move over! Move over now!
RACHEL: Oh.� (to Phoebe) Should we send them something back?
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Monica: Were going to Las Vegas to see your dad. Its time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Ross: Youre fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Monica: Oh sure, now you�re Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle�s funeral
PHOEBE: What about Ross?� What about your moment?� Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?
Rachel: Yeah... (still looking to see where Joey went, and opens the door)
PHOEBE: Well, you have to go back in.
Monica: I knew you were likely to take a wife!
<Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife>
CHANDLER: (To Monica) What is he doing?
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!