words in movies
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Monica: Yeah, you really shouldn't. (to Ross, sarcastically) By the way, how was that year-long dig in Cairo?
Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour.
Ross: So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand)
Monica: Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat!
Ross: So, why is Erica coming to visit?
Monica: Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building...
Ross: Ok, ok. I'm gonna come out to Long Island with you, I mean, you can't be alone right now.
Rachel: No, come on, I'm totally ok. (hugging him) I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own.
Rachel: Ok. If you really need to.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Erica: Thank you. It's really nice to meet you guys, I can't believe I'm here!
Joey: Welcome to New York City! Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"?
Chandler: Great! (to Monica) This baby'd better to be really good.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Ross: Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't want to infect him.
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Dr. Green: What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.]
Phoebe: I, I have to go before I put your head through a wall. (she leaves)
Rachel: Yeah, just so weird seeing him like that, you know? I mean he is a doctor, you don't expect doctors to get sick!
Rachel: (she's sad) Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital!
Ross: No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest.
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go!
Erica: Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time.
Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.
Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.
Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.
Erica: Oh, sure. Yeah, well, he was my high school boyfriend. Captain of the football team, really cute and he got a scholarship and went off to college. (Monica and Chandler are smiling from ear to ear)
Chandler: So, what does the other guy do? Does he go to college too?
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
Chandler: Pff, easy for you to say, he's a father killer. He probably loves him mommy. He's probably got a tattoo that says "mom" on his shovel-wielding arm!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He is sitting on the barcalounger holding a French study book and listening to a French learning tape.]
Tape: We will now count from one to five. Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq.
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See?
Phoebe: Well, you're not, (she tries to smile and contain her anger, but loses it) You're not... you're not... again, you're not SPEAKING FRENCH!
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Rachel: Hmm-hmm. (starts to pour herself a cup of coffee, never looking at Ross)
Ross: (knowing she's not alright) O-kay. Well, I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast. (He starts to leave)
Ross: (half amused) Wait, wait, (looks around a little) You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side)
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Ross: Hey you know what? You know what? To avoid this little thing in the future, let's just say, you and me, never having sex again.
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Erica: No! (To Monica) You we're right, that was fun! I'm gonna go finish packing.
Chandler: O-okay. (steps closer to Monica and speaks softly) So, is she gonna take the test?
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Director: (to Joey) Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
Joey: (to Phoebe) Oh-hoh! Ha-hah! See!
Phoebe: (to the director) Merci. Au revoir. (Translation: Thanks, goodbye.)
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
(Joey takes the plastic container to his mouth and starts to drink. Most of the milk gushes from the bottle down his chin and over his clothes to the floor. He keeps "drinking" and all of a sudden he lifts it up and half the bottle of milk pours out in an instant. He then continues to drink the rest. He then puts the empty container down on the counter.)
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
Joey: Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.
Ross: Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed.
Mark: No. And I dont think Im gonna want to.
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Chandler: (sliding up behind her) No. No, I wont. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didnt want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot.
Steve: Yes, that's right. We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job.
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Chandler: does what always have to be sharks.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
Tag: No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources.
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Monica: Honey, Im going to put my hand in your pocket!
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
Ross: If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.
Mr. Geller: 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that?
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is at the counter, serving coffee to Phoebe.]
Joey: I dont want to, Im scared.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Chandler: So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Aurora: Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too.
Rachel: (to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Barry: No! (To Rachel) I went with Mindy.
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, Im afraid I-I had to fail you.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Erin: Hi. I dont mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me?
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Monica: Y'know what, Ive got to walk out of here right now, cause getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I dont think I could do it again.
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
Erin: Ohh, listen. Ive got to get going. Today was great, thanks!
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
Ross: Okay is there some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?!
Eric: Well I was just so excited to see you.
Chandler: Im kidding. This is going to be fun.
A Student: Whats happening to your accent?
Receptionist: Well, you'll have to wait your turn.
Larry: Maybe uh, Vunda could give me her number and I can ask her to dinner sometime.
Phoebe: I-I wanna be with her, (points to the stripper next to her) I like her.
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Ross: Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
[Scene: Back to the living room. Monica and Rachel enter and hug each other. The guys see this.]
CHANDLER: Yeah. So do we need to hug here or. . .
Rachel: Okay, I need a date! (runs to her bedroom)
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, hes snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.]
Monica: Thank you. All right, now who else do you want to invite?
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Ross: Green. To the green.
Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.
Ross: Then dont. Stay here. Just dont go so soon to London, just one more day.
[Cut to the inside of the apartment.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Joey: Oh yeah? (To Phoebe) Hi, Ken Adams, nice to meet you.
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Ross: No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Monica: You have to go to London!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Joey: Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Joey: How did she get me to settle down?
Joey: Oh, you said it Mike. (Rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Monica: All right, I'll try not to.
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)