words in movies
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Phoebe: Oh, its so great to see you feeling like this!
Phoebe: Wait, am I missing something though? Cause I thought death was something thats supposed to be sad, in a way.
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
Monica: Any time you want. Y'know, when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse, but no!! It was to be looked at, but never played with.
Chandler: My Grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
Phoebe: So, Im here, ready to play.
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Rachel: I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
Phoebe: Okay, (starts to pack up her stuff) fine. Come dinosaur, were not welcome in the house of no imagination.
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, while were hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they dont go, rrroof!
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.]
Joey: Listen, I ah, went to that restaurant that you were talking about last week...
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
Joey: (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah...
Lauren: I used to umm, schedule my classes so I could watch Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives.
Lauren: (laughing) Oh, youre so funny. Listen, umm, what are you doing after rehearsals? Do you want to get a drink, or something?
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Phoebe: Hey, does anybody want to join me in the aroma room? (lights some incense)
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Joanna: Oh God, we just clicked! Yknow how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater youre dating.
Kate: I dont care. Why, do you want me to care?
Joey: Do you want me to want you to care?
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
Kate: Ive got no reason to stay.
Lauren: (to Joey) Hey! So since were getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs?
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
Joey: (to Kate) Ah, are you okay?
Kate: Well, Adrians looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor cant just kiss her, hes gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know?
Joey: And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her!
[cut to Joeys bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
Joey: (to Ross) Hey.
Joey: (to Monica) Hey.
Ross: Its a little early to be drinkin.
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks youre going to call her?
Rachel: You cant just say, Nice to meet you, good night?
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
Joanna: Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you work for, there are always ways to fix...that.
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Chandler: Look, you cant call somebody after this long just to say, In case you didnt notice, I dont like you!
Rachel: Well then youre going to have to take her out again.
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebes dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
Joey: So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall?
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Ross: No Phoebe, dont look! You dont want to see whats under there!!
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
Joanna: Great! Im looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
Chandler: AhhhhIm not going to call you.
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Joanna: Well, this isnt how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Rachel: Yeah, it couldnt hurt to look.
[Cut to Joey going over to talk to Dennis Phillips.]
Monica: You have to tell David!
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Were you there?
Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags!
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Rachel: (she's got that "yeah, try to say it" look on her face) Yes?
-Cut to Rachel (Phone ringing)
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Chandler: Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset?
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
Joey: Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.
Trudie Styler: Im not giving concert tickets to someone whod use their son like this!
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Rachel: I dont know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer, y'know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just dont want to be 30 and still work here.
(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. Hes just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell hes doing.)
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
Chandler: The actor playing Mac couldnt do it, they needed to see you at 2 oclock.
RACHEL: Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time.
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Joey: That's like a woman wanting to be a...
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts.
Joey: Not knowing when to shut up...
David: Oh, you're going to Minsk?
Rachel: (with the sticks in her hands) Um... (She goes to the tarantula-cage and puts the sticks into it) Done!
Rachel: Argh! Why does everything happen to me?!
Chandler: You said that to me last week.
Phoebe: Ohhh. (Hands her back to Rachel.)
Back to Monica and Chandler's apartment.
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And Im okay with that.
Dedicated to the great work of Eric Aasen, Guineapig and many, many more.
Joey: Hey uh, is it okay to come in?
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
Phoebe: No. Im just, I wanna, I need to be alone.
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santas lap.
Mr. Zelner: Y'know what? I may regret this but uh, I'm going to give you a shot.
Amy: Do you want to know why you don't want me to have the baby?
Amy: No! What are you going to do? Make me?
Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. <to Rachel> It was your fat friends brother with that bad afro, do you remember?
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Ross: (To Mona) But I didnt want to.
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
JOEY: Okay, what have we always wanted to do together?
Ross: Hi! Hi, Im uh Ross. Im here to ruin this magical day for you.
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
Chandler: You know, it's... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Joey: 18, uh? (starts to prepare himself to say his "How You Doin'" line) Ross: Joey, NO!
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
[Cut to an outside shot of the museum.]
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
RACHEL: Okay.� You too.� And I hope you score.� (to Mike) Bye.
Mona: Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now youre-youre sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
MONICA: So, you lied to him?
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.
Gary: I don't know man, we're really not supposed to do that.
MONICA: You might want to keep practicing.
Ross: Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff?
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Rachel: He even offered to meet me for lunch tomorrow to prep me for it.
Chandler: Eldad, sit down. (To Rachel) Move over! Move over now!
RACHEL: Oh.� (to Phoebe) Should we send them something back?
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Monica: Were going to Las Vegas to see your dad. Its time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Ross: Youre fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Monica: Oh sure, now you�re Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle�s funeral
PHOEBE: What about Ross?� What about your moment?� Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?
Rachel: Yeah... (still looking to see where Joey went, and opens the door)
PHOEBE: Well, you have to go back in.
Monica: I knew you were likely to take a wife!
<Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife>
CHANDLER: (To Monica) What is he doing?
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.