words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Monica: I know its last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party.
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Ross: Well, Ill-Ill be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so
Joey: Look, Ill come to the party but Im not dressing up.
Monica: You have to!
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone youre not
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Phoebe: Huh. Okay. Well, Im really happy for you. (Starts to walk away.)
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Monica: Wait! Youre supposed to wear a costume!
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
Monica: Im Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when youre too big for it.
Rachel: Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Yknow, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts.
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) That is so you!
Rachel: Oh! (Opens the door to reveal a ballerina) Well youre just the prettiest ballerina Ive ever seen.
Rachel: Well, I have to say that earns tutu pieces of candy.
Monica: What are you supposed to be?
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Eric: Yknow you dont have to stand here with me, believe me
[Time lapse, Monica is going over to talk to Joey.]
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
Joey: (To Monica) Here comes the temper.
(Theres a knock on the door and Rachel opens it to a little girl.)
Rachel: Hi! Yknow what honey, were actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but Im out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?
Rachel: Okay, Im just gonna write this out to cash.
Chandler: (To Ross) Marry her.
[Cut to Joey and Monica.]
[Cut to Phoebe and Eric.]
Eric: Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and its not like me to do something so impulsive, but shes just so perfect, and we have so much in common.
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
[Cut to Mona and Ross walking past Chandler.]
Joey: (To Monica) Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question.
Chandler: (To Monica) You picked Ross?!
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Joey: Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, lets give em what they came for!
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Chandler: (To Ross) Youre going down.
Rachel: Gotta go! (Opens the door to a boy in a cape.) Hi! Wow! There you go! (Hands him some candy.)
Boy in the Cape: You cant tell me to shut up!
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Phoebe: Why are you lying to him?
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Eric: Shes helped so many people to quit smoking.
Eric: (To Phoebe) Well, it was nice meeting you.
Joey: (entering) Pheebs come on! Bunny vs. Doody! Were waiting! (They go inside.) (To Chandler and Ross.) Okay. Okay guys, one match, winner take all. (They grasp each others hand in preparation for battle.) Oh wait-wait! What does the winner get?
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Mona: (To Joey) Wow! Theyre both really strong.
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh God!
Ross: (To Chandler) So, you gettin tired?
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Joey: (to her) Youre a weird lady.
Phoebe: Umm listen, I dont think I dont think Im gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world.
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Eric: Im not smart. (Phoebe has no comeback.) I just wanted so much to be impulsive once. To be romantic.
Rachel: Hey! Well, I had to give the kid fifty bucks to stop crying.
Rachel: No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children!
Monica: Look, I wanted to tell Im-Im sorry you lost.
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Rachel: Oh, thank you... (looks at his face trying to remember his name)
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Phoebe: All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape!
(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
Phoebe: (excited)Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight!
Conan: Now you guys work with animals a lot. You had to work early on with a monkey
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting a cup of coffee and sits down next to Monica.]
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
PHOEBE: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
[Scene: The airport, the flight to Yemen is being called.]
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
[Cut to Rachel staring out of her window.]
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
ROSS: Rach, come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on, Rach. You got to give me another chance.
[Cut to Living Room]
Rachel: It's not? (whispering to Ross) When was she born?
Janice: I know! And Im just getting out of a marriage, I mean talk about meant to be!
Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.
Rachel: Well, they said would but they would only give me store credit. I mean, what am I going to do, get a thousand regular cats?
[Cut to the inside of Monica and Rachel's apartment, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Ross: Im trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Chandler: Again I must go back to, how?
Rachel: No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. Its a very big deal, theres a lot of people there I have to meet.
Phoebe: There you go! Oh, you are so lucky! You might actually get to meet Sting tomorrow! Thats why you have kids!
Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud.
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Phoebe: Well, that’s what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!
Phoebe: Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you cant talk to Rachel.
Joshua: Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing. (He goes to put his hands in his pockets.)
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Ross: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Monica: Oh no, you see were on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?
Rachel: And you weren't going to tell us? How did you think you were gonna get away with that?
Ross: Hey, theyre going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Yknow they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playfuldidnt you see Personal Best?
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
CHANDLER: Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody.
Monica: Well, are you asleep right now, Joe? Cause I dont think you have to wear it unless you are!
Rachel: Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio!
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her as the picture fades to black.)
Monica: (To Monica) Danny. Are you guys ever gonna go out again?
CHANDLER: I had sex today. I never have to answer that phone again.
Monica: (To Rachel) Oh, are the drapes still closed hon?
Gary: I want you to move in with me.
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues to cry.]
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Monica: (interrupting him) No-no-no, dont-dont do the accent. Youve got to see her again.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (goes over to the door.)
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
Chandler: What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Chandler: What does a guy have to do to be taken seriously around here?!
Joey: If you want, Ill sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Dr. Green: Oh? Really? Thats what my daughter means to you? Nothing?
Joey: (to Monica) Did that guy really make that joke?
Monica: I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do.
Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Rachel: Well, we were going to do that afterI mean umm, next.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)