words in movies
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. (Turns towards the door, pauses, and turns back.) Like youd believe that. This sucks!
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
(Rachel walks inside, stops, and turns back to look at Ross for a moment then goes upstairs.)
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
(Neither of them turns around from watching the chick and the duck look for the tasty treat.)
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Ross: Actually this looks like pretty good! Yeah!(he turns and watches his back and there’s a sign on the back of the jacket, “boys will be boys”) Boys will be boys?
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Joey: (turns around very fast) I like although!
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Chandler: (finds his money) Ahh-hahaha! (Turns around to give the Maitre d' his money, but he isn't there anymore)
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Chandler: No problem roomie. (She turns around and hugs him.)
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Joey: (screaming) And now Chandler! Were all gettin so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Joey: Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still got it. (Turns back to Hayley) so were good. (She just glares at him) I'll let myself out.
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
(He closes the door and turns to see Ross glaring at him.)
(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)
(She leaves. Chandler presses his face to the glass door after her, stroking the window lovingly. He then turns to the security camera and starts talking to it.)
Wendy: I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beautiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. (She turns the cardboard box upside down over the conference table, a big piece of ham falls out.)
[She turns him facing the toilet and sneaks out of the stall and gathers up his clothes.]
CHANDLER: No, no the gravel capades. Yeah, the turns aren't as fast but when Snoopy falls. . . funny.
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
Phoebe: No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out hes incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me.
Joey: So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Chandler: Man, if only youd gotten here sooner. (Ross turns and glares at him.)
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
(She turns to get her vows from Rachel.)
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
Chandler: No problem roomie. (She turns around and hugs him.)
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
(Chandler turns to watch her go and then sees Ross and Joey both with huge grimaces on their faces.)
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
(Phoebe turns to leave but notices an attractive man.)
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
Joey: All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a american football match, with the referee's whistle blowing, the crowds cheering...)
Joey: Well, it turns out you were right C.H.E.E.S.E.
Chandler: Of course I'm awake. Assume from now on that I'm always awake! (He turns the light on)
Rachel turns to Ross: Oh whose side are you on? <back to Amy> I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child.
The Head Librarian: We are aware of the problem you are referring too. (He turns to look at the previous librarian.) But as far as increasing security, Im afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I cant help you.
Monica: (turns around and she's quite shocked) Excuse me?
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room. (Kim stops the elevator and turns to Rachel.)
Rachel: Yeah. (turns around) Hi Mark!
Pete: (turns off the TV) Youre taking this all wrong. Because, if I didnt leave you that tip, you wouldnt of come down here, we wouldnt be having this argument, and there wouldnt be this ah, heat between us.
Chandler: (examining the hat) And the bunny got away. (Turns and starts looking for the bunny as Joey puts the hat on.)
Ross: So do I. (Slowly walks in.) Okay Rach, before anything happens (He takes off his coat) I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. (Turns back to face her.) This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." (Rachel's confused) Okay? I just want this to be (Kicks off his left shoe) about what it is! (Kicks off the other one.)
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
Joey: All right, I should get going, big day a work. Yknow Im in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out Im not brain dead.
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
Mr. Treeger:: Okay ahh, well, just ahh, follow my lead. (Turns on some music)
Rachel: Yes, Ross. (turns toward him)
CHANDLER: (Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.)� Oh well, look at you.
(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
(He turns his back to Monica and does the international sign for big boobies again.)
Rachel: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
(Rachel turns around and sees Chandler and Monica arriving)
Rachel: (turns around) Mark? Oh my God! (puts the box on the chair and they hug each other)
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
(She goes in, and sees Jason without his shirt. It turns out that he has a great body too, and is at a loss for words.)
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
Rachel: Oh, I cant watch this. (turns her eyes away)
(Chandler laughs, turns, and sees that Ross and Joey arent happy.)
[she turns to leave, Frank follows]
(Matt turns back and looks and them, but instead of his next line he starts laughing.)
Monica: What?! Oh.(She turns around quickly and falls)
(Rachel turns and looks at Ross.)