words in movies
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
Chandler: So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class.
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Chandler: Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of.
Chandler: Monica, we are not ready to have two babies!
Monica: So dont think of it as a bachelor party, think of it as a a two month anniversary present.
Chandler: Two!
Monica: Two!
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
(He goes to turn off a machine. Suddenly, Dr. Drake Remoray appears at the door with two cops!)
Gary: 'Cause uh, this is today's Post (produces one from the other chair) and uh, these are the listings I found. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights!
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
Monica: Two thousand dollars?
Phoebe: Uh huh...we're playing you two.
Monica: Even if I shrink down to two inches tall?
Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Joey: A couple? Like two people? Like (points to himself) one (points to Phoebe), two people?
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
Phoebe: One, two, three!
CHANDLER: Alright you guys are off to party number one [ushers 3 guys into Monica's apartment] and you, you are off to party number two [ushers four women into his apartment. Two guys try to follow and Chandler blocks them and shoos them off to Monica's apartment] Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin.
Rachel: Look Joey, come on shes so perfect for you! I mean shes sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Monica: (to Ross) So, did you two have fun?
Ross: Come on sweetie! Youve had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time?
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Charlie: A guy who won two.
Ross: (looking down) Are you wearing two belts?
Richard: Just the last two pages.
Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
Ross: (looks) Oh yeah! You'rehey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, (reading ad) two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks!
Phoebe: Well okay but I have two tickets to the ballroom dance finals. (She holds up the tickets that Kyle gave her.)
[Scene: The hospital. Monica and Chandler are holding the twins, while two nurses are taking care of Erica.]
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
Monica: No, those first two windows, (Points) that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.
Joey: This is so exciting for her. Well, Ill let you two fash ists get down to business. (Exits.)
Ross: So you two are..?
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Ross: Two, I think a two.
Monica: One Two Three...
Ross: Look at you two, bonding, making us late for the airport so
Phoebe: Oh did youwhat did youdid you work for two days straight?
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Monica: Were just two people who find each other very attractive. Right?
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Chandler: That's where people make number two!!
Phoebe: Im sorry, for the last time, why arent you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because youre not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
Assistant: You got two more twos?
Chandler: All right ladies, heres what were gonna do. (Points to a stripper.) You are gonna take off my clothes. (To another two strippers) You two, go get the oils. (To another stripper) And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandlers the king! Chandlers the king!"
Phoebe: So what did you two do about it?
Joey: Dude, two times that happened!
Joey: Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars?
Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
Rachel: Well, there's two spots left right?
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
Ross: Two seconds...
Joey: (angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Chandler: Oh yeah! Okay, lets play again. (He deals out two cards each again.) What do you got?
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
(Chandler looks at the other two guys, embarrassed)
Ross: (entering) Okay, okay, okay, I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go!
Joey: Strike two!
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments. Chandler and Joey are walking up the stairs.]
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Chandler: Well, y'know two regulars. And ah one that barely qualifies as... (starts to kiss her again, but she gets up.) Ahh, what?
(Phoebe turns away so that the two weird women wont see the face she pulls, and sits down.)
Realtor: You two know each other?
Chandler: And I also got... two more apples.
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
Rachel: Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop. Only a hundred and two dollars to go.
Phoebe: What's that smile? Did something happen with you two?
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Chandler: Oh yes! Just had me a little nubbin-ectomy. Yep! Two nipples, no waiting.
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
JOEY: Okay.� (pause.� He looks over her shoulder at the table with the wine.)� Whoa, whoa.� Why are there two glasses of wine out?
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
Ross: Fine, two tickets, I need two tickets.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Chloe: Oh, okay. (to the bartender) Hey, two beers. (sits down next to him)
Assistant: You got sprayed with two two' s and...
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
Rachel: Oh, youre one of those. But yknow what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Ross: One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis...(the sprayer starts again, spraying him in the face and torso again) WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! (he leaves the booth) (the assistant enters the room)
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica.
Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants.
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?