words in movies
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: Two!
Monica: Two!
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
CAROLINE: You know, my brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt for three years. What agency did you two go through?
Joey: (pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Monica: Yknow, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Ross: Oh, what were the other two?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and thats when we get married. Well have Chandlers money and Rachels kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachels drinking problem.
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Phoebe: Are you two talking about the same baby? Hey! Have you started off thinking of names yet?
Amy: She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff.
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
Danny: (To Gunther) Two pounds of Moca Java please.
Chandler: Now, theres two reasons.
[Scene: Interview room. Ross and two other professors (one man, one woman) are sitting on one side of a long desk. Benjamin Hobart is sitting on the other side]
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Roy: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time!
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Ross: Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy?
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?
Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside)
Man: (being joined by the rest of the barbershop quartet) One, two, three...
Woman On Train: Oh, no. But its just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
Monica: Two in a row! Youve got to use your tongues now! (They kiss again.)
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
(Joey holds his fist up, and Chandler gives him two thumbs up.)
Rachel: Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now Im not saying that theres any connection here yknow, but they did tell me thats why they got divorced.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross is walking angrily towards Chandler, who is talking to two other guys.]
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Chandler: Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!
Monica: Two guys in one night? Wow, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed.
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Chandler: Okay, here you go. (He deals out two cards each.) I have two queens, what do you have?
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Janine: I cant handle two nights in a row with them.
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Joey: (standing up) Yknow, theres two women dude.
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Ross: Hey, I'm more cop than you two!
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Estelle: How do you do. (to Rachel and Monica) Ooh, you two girls were outstanding! (to Joey) Did they have representation?
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Ross: Oh, Emily that is, that is so great. It's gonna be so great! We're gonna be like-like-like two idiots in love!
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
Joey: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
Monica: No, I have just to have two more points to beat him!
Monica: Oh, you two must have been so cute running around on a barge.
Joey: (about to cry) Those two only had each other!
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two?
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Monica: (looks at Chandler) In in two weeks.
Phoebe: (clinking two glasses together) Speech! Speech! Lets hear from the birthday girl! Huh?
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Phoebe: Didnt you two already talk?
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
The Salesman: Really? You two?
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Monica: So it looks like it's going really well for you two, huh?
MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
Monica: Oh well umm, I make it myself! Its two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is yknow what? We just met.
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two arent together, she asked if I could set it up, but if youre not cool with it...
Steve: Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. (Walks away.)
(Chandler motions to Monica that hell give her two babies.)
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Phoebe: Because this one is now! And-and its two of our best friends! Who knows what youre gonna marry!
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Rachel: Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!
Amanda: Oh! Gosh! This is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times. I'm so happy you two are friends again!
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
Ross: Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads.
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
Joey: Im gonna be on two TV shows!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
Aurora: So... which one of the two guys will you listen to?
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?
CHAN: And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, Knights in White Satin was sung by the Doody Blues.
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.