words in movies
Phoebe: Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy....
[We see Chandler lighting up a cigarette.]
Chandler: Hey, shut up!! Youre not my real Mom!!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Chandler: Beam me up Jesus.
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
Chandler: Damn! (stands up) The tailpipes not hot enough to light this!
[Chandler crumples up his cigarette pack and throws it on the ground.]
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Ross: Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up.
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Rachel: I dont know, Im sorry, I always slept in the back when we drove up here.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? (listens) Okay! (hangs up) Yeah, no they dont do that.
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
[Joey walks up helping Chandler.]
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
[Rachel starts to walk up.]
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Ross: No, Im not gonna pick them up.
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
[Ross drives up.]
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
Joey: Come on man, you drove all the way up here.
Director: Aw come on Joey, it's easy. Y'know, it's hand, hand, head, head, (very quickly, Joey watches stunned) up, pas de bouree, pas de bouree, big turn here, grand sissone, sissone, sissone, slide back, step, step, step, and jazz hands!
Ross: Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- (looks up, realises, and points) -the bus stop... I'm fine.
(Rachel enters with the "cat" and the chick and the duck start to get riled up.)
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Rachel: Well, Ive been up since six. Thanks to somebodys dumb-ass rooster.
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Monica: So are you thinking of starting up something with this guy?
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
(Everyone applauds and he stands up slowly.)
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Monica: Here, take a couple of these. (She gets up to grab a couple of pills.)
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Joey: (jumping up and removing the bandages) Im back baby! Ha-ha-ha!
Ross: Okay, Im done with my choices, these are final. (holds up a little card)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is sitting at the bar, Chandler serves up two mugs of hot water.]
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Monica: Here, let me make the milk, Im up anyway.
(She is still yanking on the bra, but it is stuck in her sleeve. Finally, she gives up.)
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Chandler: Oh, she's at home, putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party tonight.
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joeys category is up next and the presenter walks to the podium.]
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Monica: Chandler! Everyone--no one's eating my Tuscan finger food 'cause they're all filling up on Phoebe's snow cones!
Rachel: Oh, honey! Dont get up! What do you need?
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)
Monica: Anybody lose this? (Holds up the chip and the woman next to her shakes her head no.)
Rachel: Okay. Hang up! Thats it! Come on!
Chandler: See, Im not bad at this fixing up thing, huh?
Mike: Yeah... Well, when... you and I broke up I started seeing someone.
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
Chandler: I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up.
Joey: Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe thats one thing you can cross off your list.
Monica: Come on guys! Suck it up! We're closing in on ten hours! It's gut-check time!
Joey: Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani! (Holds up the piece of paper bearing the proof of his ordination.)
All: (groaning) Oh no! Oh no! (They all start to get up a leave.)
Joey: Oh no! No-no, keep reading! The good part's coming up. Keep going.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Joey: Y'know what, hold on, let me go get Chandler. (gets up and leaves.)
Phoebe: I’m sorry, I can’t believe I set you up with such a MONSTER!
Joey: Hey, whats up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, hes eating it with his hands.)
Monica: Oh, yes, umm, Im here to pick up a dress that you have on hold.
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
[Scene: A Medical Research Office, Joey is there to sign up for an experiment, any experiment.]
Rachel: So, if-if I mess this up, theres nothing else for dessert?
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
Phoebe Sr.: No, Im not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didnt look you up was, well I was afraid that youd react, just well like, the way, the way youre reacting right now, and cant we just, y'know, start from here?
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Phoebe: Whered you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.
Joey: Wow! Uh okay, well uh (He gets up, opens a drawer, and pulls out the ring.)
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Rachel: Oh, Kim, Hi. (Kim doesnt even look up from her report.)
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (She gets up and grabs a spoon.)
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it.
[They both get up and head for the door. Clunkers whines a little]
(He tries to get up again and starts falling backwards and Chandler catches him.)
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Rachel: I can get a quick bite to eat, but then I have to come back up here.
Ross: Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.
Paul: (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Ross: (on phone) I know I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. I love you. Bye. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Rachel: Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesnt show up!
Monica: Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.
Phoebe: I have quarters! (She holds up a bag of quarters.)