words in movies
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Ursula: Hey!
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Ursula: Who is it?
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: No Im not.
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: Yes.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Ursula: Hey!
Eric: Ursula?
Ursula: Yknow, wed really better get going.
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Ursula: Hurry up I gotta pray!!
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
Ursula: Yknow, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Ursula: Well, then who's been dead for five years?
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!