words in movies
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Ursula: Well, then who's been dead for five years?
Ursula: Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
(Ursula resumes eating her lunch..)
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
Ursula: All right, hang on! (She takes the note, goes back into her apartment and slams the door shut.)
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
Phoebe: You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!!
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
Ursula: Right.
Ursula: (Surprised) Oh.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Ursula: Oh!
Ursula: Uh-huh.
Ursula: Who?
Ursula: He is? Why?
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Ursula: You have not changed!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Ursula: Who is it?
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Ursula: Oh, its you.
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Ursula: No Im not.
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: Yes.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Ursula: Hey!
Eric: Ursula?
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.