words in movies
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Ursula: All right, hang on! (She takes the note, goes back into her apartment and slams the door shut.)
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Ursula: (Surprised) Oh.
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Ursula: Oh!
Ursula: Uh-huh.
Ursula: Right.
Ursula: Who?
Ursula: He is? Why?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Ursula: You have not changed!
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Ursula: Well they could be true.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Ursula: Who is it?
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Ursula: Who is it?
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Ursula: No Im not.
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: Yes.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
Eric: Ursula?
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Ursula: Hey!
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Ursula: Hurry up I gotta pray!!
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Ursula: Yknow, wed really better get going.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?