words in movies
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Ursula: Hey!
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Ursula: No Im not.
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: Yes.
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Eric: Ursula?
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Ursula: Hey!
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Ursula: Hurry up I gotta pray!!
Ursula: Yknow, wed really better get going.
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Ursula: Yknow, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!